Gorgui Dieng Career High 12 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (3/16/2014)

Gorgui Dieng just got a career high in pretty much everything: points with 12, rebounds with 11, blocks with 5, and steals with 2. The 5 blocks were the most impressive thing. These weren’t wimpy blocks where he barely grazed the ball or stripped the ball as the shooter was going up. These were MAN…

Read More

Nate Wolters 15 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

Nate Wolters was allegedly a great scorer in college (I wouldn’t know, who watches college basketball anyway?). It bothers me that, in the NBA, he’s trying to be more of a distributing PG. Um, excuse me, you averaged over 20 PPG your senior year, how about you just hog the ball and try to channel…

Read More

Marcus Thornton 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

“Hey, Andrei, crazy that stuff going on in Ukraine, isn’t it?” Marcus asked his teammate. “You know Marcus, I don’t really pay attention to that stuff.” Andrei replied. “I just try to stay out of it and play basketball.” Andrei’s lack of enthusiasm for the subject did not deter Marcus. “Yeah, what with Russia invading…

Read More

Pero Antic 16 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

Pero Antic keeps having these “okay” games. 16 points is cool. 17 points would have been cooler but the racist and biased scorekeepers took one of his points away. (to be fair his foot was totally inside the arc but that doesn’t disprove my assertion that the scorekeepers hate Macedonians.) But he can’t seem to…

Read More

Drew Gooden 21 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

“Drew it was really great of you to suggest this as a team bonding exercise after tonight’s game.” Drew Gooden sat serenely, as if in a meditative state. He gave no indication that he heard except for the faint smile the crossed his lips. “But does it have to be so god damn hot in…

Read More

Andrew Bynum 15 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2014)

“Yo, when you said you were takin’ us to a new hot nightlife joint, I wasn’t expectin’ this.” Paul George looked gloomily out the window as Andrew Bynum’s fancy car pulled into the parking lot of the decidedly dilapidated-looking “Indy-Bowl”. “Shut up, I’m gonna show you guys the meaning of a good time tonight. Andrew…

Read More

Tobias Harris 21 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2014)

The NBA just loves messing with my schedule. So I want to do Tobias Harris highlights. Of course. He’s the best. He’s the beast. I gotta do highlights. So I go to NBA.com to get to the play-by-play and what do I see? The Bucks playing at 11:00! I look at my clock. 11:03! So…

Read More

Robin Lopez 19 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/14/2014)

I have been introduced to a new nickname for Robin Lopez. I thought about withholding it from you guys, but then I figured, hey, I’m a generous guy, and I shouldn’t bogart the funny nicknames. Here it is: Fropez. Get it? Because his name is Lopez? And he has an afro? I’m also betting that…

Read More

Draymond Green Career High 18 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2014)

My rap career is proceeding apace. I just wrote this gem for Draymond Green (original content do not steal): “Chillin’, just a rookie in the league Shooting twenty percent from trey If you like to look at men’s dongs It’s an indication that you’re gay Working hard to up his game PER no longer at…

Read More

Matt Bonner 13 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (3/14/2014)

It baffles me how you’re allowed to say “Red Rocket” on TV. I know it’s Matt Bonner’s nickname, but it is also a reference to the male organ. Is the joke that Bonner has a really big one? Or a small one? Or an especially red one? Or just that it’s funny to have a…

Read More