Nick Young 23 Points/Career High 4 Assists Full Highlights (11/20/2012)

I was just kidding about the career high part. But it very easily could be true, as Nick Young has become a running joke among NBA fans for his total unwillingness to share the orange. But who needs assists when you can lead the league in having an awesome fro? (Bynum doesn’t count until he…

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Stephen Curry 31 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/19/2012)

Quick quiz: which part of Stephen Curry is made of glass? A) Face B) Ankles C) Colon D) None of the above as he is mostly carbon. Answer: B) Ankles! Curry has glass ankles and he can barely walk out the front door without thousands of ankle shards spraying out in every direction. You can…

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Shaun Livingston 10 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/19/2012)

Everyone knows that sad tale of Shaun Livingston. What’s that? You haven’t heard it? Well sit down, my child, and listen. Long ago in a land far away, a land known as Charlotte, Sir Livingston went up for a layup, and, oh god, what happened to his leg, HIS KNEE, it’s all wrong, all wrong,…

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JaVale McGee 15 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2012)

While not tooling about Denver on his Segway or attempting to give away free Chipotle burritos, Javale Mcgee likes to make people look foolish with his wide array of devastating post moves. “People” usually being McGee himself. But here against Memphis he supplies the go-ahead put-back, and receives plenty of dap from his teammates. Anyone…

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DeMarcus Cousins 29 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2012)

We’ve all heard bad things about DeMarcus Cousins. He’s a headcase. He’s a cancer. He’s a locker-room distraction. He can’t play in a team system. He can’t shoot. Well I’ve got some things to say about him too. He’s tall. He can jump. He can run. He has full use of his arms. See? Those…

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Andray Blatche 22 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2012)

Andray “All I wanted was a triple-double” Blatche puts on an amazing performance against the Sacramento Kings. 11 of 12 shooting, an assist, 2 rebounds, and that’s it. No other entries in the box score. I’ll admit that I’m pretty impressed, too bad no one will ever remember anything about him other than his misplaced…

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Jose Calderon 18 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2012)

Assists are funny things. What is an assist? Per Wikipedia: “An assist is attributed to a player who passes the ball to a teammate in a way that leads to a score by field goal.” Okay, that’s great. Jose Calderon picked up 18 of the little bastards. No problem, right? WRONG. Calderon was the benefactor…

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E’Twaun Moore 16 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2012)

So I guess you can put punctuation in people’s names. This is news to me. E’Twaun M’oore is one of the people who display this trait. The apostrophe apparently imparts some kind of superior basketball skill, since my cousin Etwaun can barely dribble and has the shooting form of a middle school girl. This E’Twaun…

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Marreese Speights 18 Points/1 Three-Pointer Full Highlights (11/18/2012)

Maarreesse Speights has always been kind of a middling NBA player. Actually he still is. However, he knows his role, and that allows him to play efficiently in the minutes he gets. He knows that he should never ever take three-pointers. That shows maturity and knowledge of one’s own limitations. Wait, my phone’s ringing, I…

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Jared Sullinger 12 Points/11 Rebounds Full Highlights (11/17/2012)

The last time Jared Sullinger had a game this good he was still playing for Ohio State. In fact, he’s probably the best player ever to come out of that prestigious university. What did you say? Could you repeat that? John…. what? Have-lee-check? Never heard of him. Anyway, he probably never put up 12 and…

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