Darrell Arthur 18 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (3/14/2014)

What kind of uploader would I be if I uploaded Darrell Arthur highlights but failed to include partial lyrics to the theme song for the kid’s cartoon “Arthur”? A bad kind of uploader, that’s what I’d be. I’d probably lose subscribers. So here they are (dope reggae beat not included): “Everyday when you’re walking down…

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Ray Allen 22 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/14/2014)

Prior to tonight’s game, Ray Allen was shooting almost exactly 40% from three on his career. Just a sliver over. If he had made 1/5 of a three less and it would be perfect. And with the volume of those shots that he’s taken over his career, that kind of efficiency is pretty amazing. Stephen…

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Jonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2014)

There’s something different about these Jonas Valanciunas highlights. Something he doesn’t normally do. Can you figure out? It’s not very obvious until it gets pointed out. But here it is: instead of pumpfaking a million times when he got the ball in the midrange and only after that taking the shot or driving, Jonas for…

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Ersan Ilyasova 22 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2014)

I entered the gymnasium with confidence, trying to appear as if I belonged there. The hustle and bustle of Bucks Media Day was the perfect cover for my devious plot. “Excuse me, Mr. Ilyasova, could I speak to you a moment?” I asked, grabbing Ersan’s arm. “It will really only take a second.” Ersan glanced…

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Kent Bazemore 16 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2014)

Kent Bazemore’s true colors are showing. He doesn’t want to be a defensive specialist off the bench. He wants to be an offensive centerpiece, the kind of guy who takes tons of shots. Who can blame him? When I play basketball I want to score. I don’t want to try and stop the other guy….

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Dennis Schroeder 8 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (3/13/2014)

Dennis Schroeder (Dënniß ßchrööder for the Germans out there, Guten Tag!) was hyped as the best pure point guard in the draft. That’s a nice way of saying that he can’t score at all. But he has good court vision and quickness, and everyone loves a selfless distributor on their team. He’s not doing super…

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Mike Dunleavy 21 Points/1 Injury Full Highlights (3/13/2014)

Mike Dunleavy, henceforth referred to as “Manleavy”, is allegedly a dirty player. That’s why DeMarcus Cousins hates him. However, since Manleavy is white, he is a “tough competitor” as opposed to an “out-of-control thug”. Let us do away with the concept of race entirely and just accept the fact that all professional athletes are thugs!…

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Tim Hardaway Jr. 22 Points Full Highlights (3/12/2014)

You have 10 seconds to give me one compelling reason that Tim Hardaway Jr. shouldn’t win the Rookie of the Year award. Time’s up. I thought so. No, “MCW has better stats” does not qualify as a compelling reason. I bet Hardaway could get some pretty sick stats too if he was given the keys…

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Austin Rivers 14 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (3/12/2014)

You aren’t gonna win many games in the NBA when your fourth quarter offense consists entirely of Austin Rivers. All 5 shots, made or assisted by the guy who was probably the worst player in the league last year. Though to be fair, he had a really good night, with some nice finishes at the…

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Amir Johnson 20 Points Full Highlights (3/12/2014)

Amir Johnson, cozy in his Snuggie, was again taking part in his favorite pastime: gauging the internet’s opinion of him. After watching an expertly-edited video entitled “Amir Johnson 22 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2014)”, he scrolled down to view the comments. He smiled as a fan of his had earnestly made a comment reading, “If his…

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