Beno Udrih 17 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2014)

What’s up with Balkan people and having really tiny eyes? Bueno Beno’s face looks like it was photoshopped, that’s how small his eyes are. Toni Kukoc suffered the same problem. However, the “smallest ever NBA eyes” award goes to Marko Jaric, who actually had to use sonar to locate defenders since his eyes weren’t big…

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Marcus Morris 20 Points/6 Threes/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/26/2014)

Marcus Morris woke up from his sleep slowly. As his brain brought itself up to speed, he noticed that his bed felt different. It was softer than he liked. Eyes snapping open, he saw that he was not in his own bed at all. A desert dawn-light sneaked through the cracks in the blinds, illuminating…

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Jared Dudley 24 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (12/26/2014)

More apologies are in order. A week ago, I made a Jared Dudley highlight video wherein he scored 19 points. This seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do at the time. I know now that I have grievously wasted many people’s times with that video. Why would you watch Dudders score 19 when you…

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Andre Drummond 20 Points/7 Post Moves Full Highlights (12/26/2014)

I don’t know if this sudden explosion of back-to-the-basket proficiency and Josh Smith getting traded have anything to do with each other, but the timing is kind of funny. It has been known since the beginning of the season the SVG wants Andre Drummond to be a traditional post-up kind of center, and is willing…

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Wesley Matthews 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/26/2014)

Quietly, without anyone noticing, Wesley Matthews snuck into the NBA league office. It was late, and the only security guard on duty was taking a not-very-well-earned nap. There was nothing of true value here, unless one considered fake plants and other generic cubicle farm detritus “valuable”. Wesley wasn’t here for that stuff. Damian Lillard had…

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Andrew Wiggins 22 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2014)

“Now that’s the good news in this game is that even though Minnesota hasn’t played particularly well Andrew Wiggins has played great” That’s what Timberwolves fans have to deal with this year. Oh, your team really sucks and is almost no fun to watch because all the young talent is inconsistent, but hey sometimes Andrew…

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Cory Joseph Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2014)

Dang, I’m sorry. You know that Christmas gift I lovingly prepared for you? The Cory Joseph 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights? In the manner of a piece of technology, it is out of date hardly after being received. How was I supposed to know that Cory Joseph would trump his performance the very next day?…

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Cole Aldrich 10 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2014)

Cole Aldrich isn’t good at many things, so, in order to portray him in a positive manner, I have invented a stat which he can lead the league in: Shoulder Width/Head Size Ratio. Just look at those shoulders. Did he have a plastic surgeon stick in some silicone shoulder implants? With those babies he could…

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Nikola Mirotic 13 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2014)

Nikola Mirotic stared blankly at the flickering, flashing TV in front of him. His eyes saw the pointless images on the screen, but his brain did not comprehend them. Instead, his mind dwelled, as it had for the entire preceding week, on loneliness and homesickness. Yes, the Bulls had won the Christmas game in front…

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Wesley Johnson 19 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2014)

You can sometimes tell that these national commentators don’t really know what’s going on. That’s fine, I guess. It’s hard to keep track of all the players, even I mess up sometimes. So I can forgive whoever it was for saying that Wes Johnson is a young player who is expected to get better. He…

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