Randy Foye 26 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (3/30/2013)

Who do you think Randy Foye’s best bro is on the Jazz? Al Jefferson – He’s a black hole on offense, and also a black hole in terms of emotional investment. Enes Kanter – So good looking that every time you go out clubbing with him you look like a deformed maniac in comparison and…

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Michael Kidd-Gilchrist 21 Points Full Highlights (3/30/2013)

If Michael Kidd-Gilchrist wants to be an impact player in this league, he has to fix his totally borked jumper. That’s just the plain truth. You’re not frickin’ Shawn Marion man, just shoot the ball normally like everyone else. That hitch is disgusting. And that little jump on his free throws? UGH. I utilized my…

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Dirk Nowitzki 35 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (3/30/2013)

Deep amongst the stacks of the NBA archives, a bearded Germanic giant, brow furrowed in concentration, was hunched beside piles of exceedingly old, musty documents. The knowledge he sought was near; he could sense it, but not with any of the traditional senses. As if a divine presence controlled his hands, he carefully paged through…

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Mo Williams 28 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

I have compiled a list of the worst all-stars in the last decade. Given the content of this video, it should be no surprise who appears at the top of the list. 1. Jamaal Magloire 2. Brad Miller 3. Mo Williams 4. Antoine Walker 5. Chris Kaman 6. Roy Hibbert 7. Devin Harris 8. Josh…

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Jonas Jerebko 20 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

Jonas Jerebko may be known now for his basketball talents, but what most people don’t know is that before basketball he was a prominent local musician. He was the guitarist for the Death Metal band Gorbath, which was very popular in his hometown, Kinna. Sadly they broke up before making any noise on the international…

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Shelvin Mack Career High 12 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

Shelvin, I know you’re reading this. No third-string point guard can resist reading what’s written about him on the internet. I want to make you a deal. I become your official highlight maker and distributor, and you send me a thousand bucks a week via money order. It’ll be perfect. Your name will get out…

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Evan Turner 23 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

Evan Turner got off the school bus with tears in his eyes. The first day of first grade had been tough. Why didn’t any of the kids like him? He ran into his house, desperate to get away from the taunts and jeers of his schoolmates. “Awww my baby, what’s wrong honey?” his mom cooed…

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Jason Terry 24 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

I’ve been granted the ability to know what’s going on in an NBA player’s head while they’re playing (you’d be amazed, they think about sex like 75% of the time). It also works if I’m watching replays of games. Let’s take a look into Jason Terry’s head. “Ball. Ball. Ball. Ballball. Ball. BALL. Ball. Ballballballball….

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Evan Fournier Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

Where did this come from? Evan Fournier’s previous best was 10 (If I remember correctly, damn it basketball-reference just let me check stop being difficult). And now he drops 19 like it’s no big deal? Not that I’m complaing. I like making highlights of French players because the French citizenry are apparently starved for highlights…

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Andre Drummond 17 Points/1 Free Throw Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

You know that funky rule where if a player who got fouled and gets to take free throws isn’t able to due to injury, that the opposing coach gets to choose whoever they want to take them? Yeah. It’s kind of a weird rule. Anyway, if that opposing team is the Pistons, you KNOW who’s…

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