Jrue Holiday 24 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

I don’t know how you can look at the Pelicans lineup and tell me that this team isn’t going to the playoffs. Anthony Davis: No words are necessary. The only thing I worry about is if it’s okay for me to keep making highlights of him. Ryan Anderson: Elite floor spacer and the best stretch-four…

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Giannis Antetokounmpo 8 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

You know, for being the future of a whole basketball franchise, Giannis Antetokounmpo sure doesn’t score many points. Him and Jabari need to step it up quickly or I’m gonna lose interest and have to choose a new favorite team (and avatar). Yes, I know that Giannis provides lots of other things that aren’t scoring….

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K.J. McDaniels 12 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Instead of a vitriolic description loaded with baseless assumptions and insults, like I usually write for players whom I know nothing about, I’m just going to come out and say it: I don’t know anything about K.J. McDaniels. His initials are alphabetically proximal to “KFC”, which gains him a few points in DTB’s book. And…

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O.J. Mayo 25 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Walking the quiet, midnight streets of Milwaukee, O.J. Mayo took his time, relishing the peacefulness after an exhausting, yet exhilarating, win. Scoring 25 points was so much better than game after game of DNP’s as he had experienced the previous season. He soon approached the McDonald’s that was on his route. Intending to walk by…

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Nerlens Noel 14 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Nerlens listened patiently to his teammate’s explanations, then frowned. “I dunno dude. That sounds like tanking to me.” Shaking his head, Tony Wroten tried to assuage Nerlens’ concerns. “It couldn’t be farther from tanking. We play hard every game, every possession. The only thing we do different from other teams is that we just shoot…

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Jordan Hill 23 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

The Lakers’ time is up. Their core of Bryant, Lin, and ???? is going nowhere other than the bottom of the standings. Randle is not going to win ROTY rolling around in a wheelchair. Nick Young, even if he does come back, will provide not wins, but $wag. Jordan Hill and his hair can shoot…

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Jabari Parker 11 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Jabari Parker gave out handfuls of candy to all trick-or-treaters who came to his door yesterday. Inspired by his heartless actions, I undertook a similar policy for all the costume-clad kiddies who showed up at my place for Halloween. However, instead of candy, I handed out dollops of my hard-won basketball knowledge, because I can’t…

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Kirk Hinrich 20 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

I bet Kirk Hinrich kind of wishes that Derrick Rose would stop getting injured, and he could just ease off into retirement. Nope. Year after year he gets big minutes, hand delivered by Mr. Injuries himself. Minutes that he probably feels every day when he wakes up and for a few hours after. The executives…

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Isaiah Thomas 23 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Isaiah Thomas browsed Kickstarter without much direction. He liked the concept of the site; but why did there have to be so much infeasible crap on it? It seemed every project he backed went up in flames within a month. He scrolled quickly through the “fashion” section, as usual. Nothing but ugly clothes for uglier…

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Alex Len 10 Points/11 Rebounds Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Doing highlights of a player I’ve never done before is a rush. It’s like the feeling you got when you were a kid when you opened up the Pokemon booster pack and got a holographic Zapdos (never a Charizard, god damn it). And I’ve been waiting a long time to “collect” Alex Len, so to…

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