Damjan Rudež 11 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

So it turns out, being the ignorant American pig that I am, that I’ve been pronouncing Damjan Rudez’s name wrong this whole time. “Dam Jan Rue Dezz”. I should have known that him being Croatian, not Spanish, means that his last name is pronounced very Slavically: “Rudich”. His first name, though is a total head…

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Nikola Vucevic 23 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

“Confìteor Deo omnipotènti et vobis, fratres, quia peccàvi nimis cogitatiòne, verbo, òpere et omissiòne, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Ego sum melior quam Dwight. Ideo precor beàtam Mariam semper Virginem, omnes Angelos et Sanctos, et vos, fratres, oràre pro me ad Dòminum Deum nostrum.” – Nikola Vucevic, after desecrating the bodies of Gortat…

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Al-Farouq Aminu 16 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

We all know about anime conventions. It’s where overweight nerds gather to talk about the plot intricacies of their Chinese little girl cartoons, and to argue about which googly-eyed anime girl is the cutest. What if we had an “Aminu Convention”? How sick would that be? Instead of a bunch of guys dressed up like…

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Ben Gordon 22 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

The Orlando Magic went out and got Ben Gordon so he could provide a veteran presence on a team that is severely lacking in veterans (Luke Ridnour doesn’t count because he’s from Idaho). Gordon can teach these young guys how to win! Or so the thinking goes. To test out the prevailing wisdom, I went…

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Andrew Wiggins 8 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

Andrew Wiggins has continued the trend of high-pick rookies not performing especially well in their first few games. It falls in line with what I expected of him to start off the year; not aggressive, looking lost, and unworthy of major minutes. I’m sure many of you expected the same. Others will have been anticipating…

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Caron Butler 24 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

I didn’t expect to see something like this at any point this season. I guess that’s what makes the NBA so much fun; crazy things can happen at any time. Caron Butler just took over the game, and almost brought the Pistons back from the depths of sheol. Sure, he still has the ability to…

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Evan Fournier 21 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

Evan Fournier is a great fit for what the Magic are trying to do, which is, I assume, to collect as many young, talented players as they can while avoiding any who might become an All-Star some day. That’s exactly what Fournier is. He’s a pretty good player, and easy to like as a foreigner…

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Thaddeus Young 26 Points Timberwolves Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Thaddeus Young walked into Irma’s Diner and smiled faintly at the old-timey decor. It certainly fit his impression of what restaurants in Minnesota were like. Crocheted this and knitted that covered every piece of furniture in the operation, and the people sitting at the long bar were all either wearing overalls or sweatpants. Sitting down…

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Otto Porter 13 Points Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

New seasons mean new chances for players who may have underperformed the previous year. Only a fool would cling on to results of past years, as if they were the sole predictor of future events. The truth is, changes in team composition, plus a myriad other factors, make NBA success very hard to predict. Always…

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Marcus Morris 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Marcus saw his brother, Markieff, grab a heavily-contested rebound. Rather than dump it off to Dragic or Bledsoe, Markieff took the ball himself, and Marcus began to sprint alongside him. Not making eye contact, Marcus instead began to think the phrase “throw me the lob” over and over. He was sure it would work this…

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