Jordan Crawford 26 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2012)

Jordan Crawford is one of the worst types of players you can have on your team: the guy whose points-per-game output is equivalent to their field-goal-attempts-per-game output. Taking into account three-pointers and free throws, you usually have to shoot below 40% to achieve this unwanted accolade. In this horrid, unwatchable 77-70 win for the Wiz,…

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CJ Miles 28 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2012)

CJ “The Green” Miles has been bad this year. Really bad. So, as the coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers, what do you do? Let him rot on the bench? No! You give him tons of minutes and see if he can chuck his way out of it. It kind of worked, too, as he scored…

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Toney Douglas 17 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2012)

Toney “Baloney” Douglas is widely maligned as one of the worst players in the NBA. This is not entirely fair. He has one NBA-level skill (shooting threes), and an intelligent coach would not expect him to do anything other than that. Instead, he is forced to not play to his strengths when teams demand that…

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Francisco Garcia 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/10/2012)

The Kings suck again. They are a textbook example of when tanking goes wrong. They’ve had several years in a row of high picks, but they are somehow even worse than before. But it’s not Francisco “San” Garcia’s fault. So let’s forget about how the Kings got totally owned by the Mavericks, and instead focus…

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Tony Parker Triple-Double 27 Points/12 Assists/12 Rebounds Full Highlights (12/10/2012)

Besotted with fine Merlot and weighed down with the crunchiest of baguettes Tony Parker overcomes adversity to record his first career triple-double against the Harden-less Rockets. Despite the blurry vision that is a by-product of overimbibing he found his teammates for 12 easy buckets while also scoring 27 points and grabbing 12 rebounds. The Rockets’…

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Kevin Martin 24 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2012)

Some NBA players have poor form shooting the ball. Does anybody ever get tired of Rashard Lewis doing his little flick-shot, or Chuck Hayes seizing up at the free throw line? In Martin’s case, he shoots like a little girl, as if he lacks the arm strength to shoot the ball over his head. But…

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Eric Bledsoe 14 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/9/2012)

NBA players are a lot like pizza toppings. Kobe Bryant is pepperoni, obviously. GOAT player = Goat topping. Durant is mushrooms, both sometimes playing second fiddle to inferior companions. Eric Bledsoe is corn. The reasons for this are self-explanatory. If you are having trouble figuring this out, here’s a hint: it doesn’t have to do…

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Brandon Jennings 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/9/2012)

Brandon Jennings scored 55 points in his 7th NBA game. That’s pretty nuts, considering he hasn’t scored more than 37 since then. Now he’s just an inefficient chucker who is also used as a benchmark for other crappy shooters. Like, “Kemba Walker is shooting worse than Jennings” or “John Wall is barely a better shooter…

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Danny Green 23 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

The Spurs are a magical organization. They take other team’s discarded scrubs and transmute them into coveted role-players. Take Danny Green for example. After showing very little as a mid-second-round pick by the Cavs, he was waived and picked up by the Spurs, where he became a starter-caliber player. As the Spurs’ designated three-point launcher,…

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Lou Williams 21 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

Lou Williams led the 76ers in scoring last year despite coming off the bench. He is now scoring 14 PPG for the Hawks, also off the bench. If I was him, I’d be pissed, because somebody with his scoring ability should get to start more than forty games in an eight-year career. But you can’t…

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