Andre Drummond 23 Points Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

Guys, listen up. 6’10” isn’t even that tall. I mean, it’s pretty tall, but there are a lot of similarly tall dudes in the NBA. So how the heck does Andre Drummond get all these offensive rebounds? It’s not like other players just stop rebounding as soon as he gets near them. They’re trying their…

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Brandan Wright 23 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

What if I told you that there is a player in the league RIGHT NOW who has a PER of 23.6, shoots 67% from the field, possesses .227 winshares per 48, and scores 18 points per 36, yet only plays eighteen minutes a game? You would almost certainly not believe such an improbable claim. “A…

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Jonas Valanciunas 22 Points Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

Jonas sat silently in his darkened living room, watching the flickering television with rapt attention. In front of him was spread a feast suitable for the viewing of a season finale, but since the final episode of “How I Met Your Mother” had started, none of the snacks had been touched. Mango smoothies and pretzel…

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Gerald Green 32 Points/1 Self-Oop Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

As a sagacious person once said: “With great power comes great responsibility”. That quote frames nicely my disappointment in Gerald Green tonight. Some may be impressed by his alley-oop to himself off the glass against the Blazers. And to the uninitiated, it certainly was. While he may have been pretty much eating the rim like…

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Chase Budinger 24 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

Chase “Chasetity Belt” Budinger has been injured for a bunch of the season, a fact which is often brought up by Wolves fans in defense of their disappointing record. Usually in conjunction with the health woes of other, better players, but still. Once you start bringing up Budinger as an excuse you sound desperate. He’s…

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Mike Scott 26 Points Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

Injuries are finally catching up to the Hawks, who are now fighting for their playoff lives. It was just a matter of time after Horford went down that they would remember that he was the whole reason they were good and start sucking. Mike Scott is acting as a surrogate Horford, and is kind of…

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Mirza Teletovic 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

Mirza has had a bunch of games like this so far this year. Games where he hits a bunch of threes, some of them not very good looks, and makes it look routine. But he’s also had a bunch of games where he hasn’t done anything at all. We need, nay, we demand, consistency! And…

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DeAndre Jordan 21 Points/15 Rebounds/6 Dunks Full Highlights (4/3/2014)

The crew were gathered in the main deck, eagerly awaiting the transmission to the holo-projector. Holoperator Urgorx 77-Q fiddled with the equipment. Kronbub 32-C, the pilot of the craft, vibrated his caudal membranes in a show of impatience. “I don’t get why the humans don’t adhere to their posted start times. The contest was supposed…

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Kawhi Leonard 17 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2014)

When Kawhi Leonard is leading the Spurs to multiple ‘chips in four years, how funny will it be that the Pacers gave him up to get George Hill? A.) Very Funny B.) Somewhat Funny C.) Not Funny D.) More Sad Than Anything At the moment, it’s not even that funny, given that Hill is a…

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Jeff Adrien 14 Points Full Highlights (4/2/2014)

I’m sure Jeff Adrien is a great guy. Good teammate. Whatever. But there is no reason he should be playing as many minutes as he is. 34 minutes for a guy who barely played at the beginning of the year and is likely not in the Bucks’ future plans? 21 minutes for the future of…

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