Jeff Teague 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/28/2014)

I don’t make Jeff Teague highlights as often as I probably should. The reason for this is threefold: -Doing point guards is lame because you have to get all their assists -Jeff Teague always scores too many points -I don’t even really like Jeff Teague anyway -(bonus fourth reason) he shoots too many layups, which…

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Dennis Schröder 13 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/26/2014)

Dënniß ßchrööder force-feeds the Raptors his schnitzel and forces them to drink a stein of his secret-recipe “Schwanzpissen”, pouring in thirteen points in only fifteen minutes of court time. The Shredder lived up to the high standards set by his nickname, easily slicing into the Raptors defense for easy points near the bucket. He also…

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Shelvin Mack 13 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/25/2014)

Shelvin “Macksturbation” Mack exacts vengeance on the team that waived him all those moons ago, dropping in five buckets and five dimes on a Wizards team who thought, once upon a time, that A.J. Price deserved the backup PG spot over him. The personnel decision mistake that keeps on giving, if you will. Dënniß ßchrööder…

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Mike Scott 17 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2014)

I get the feeling that most NBA fans aren’t truly aware of Mike Scott’s existence. He has a very commonplace name and is a bench player for a team that no one really likes in the Atlanta Hawks. There is nothing notable about his game other than that he added a three point shot, but…

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Mike Muscala 13 Points/2 Real Blocks Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Ever since LeBron had his triple-double taken away from him thanks to a misattributed assist, boxscore inaccuracy has been a hot internet topic. It’s not a new thing, but when stuff happens to LeBron, that’s when people realize that the statkeepers pretty much can’t tell their own left butt cheek from a hot ham-n-cheese sandwich….

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Dennis Schröder 10 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/14/2014)

The trajectory of Dënniß ßchrööder appears to be directly upward, at this point. He’s not going to challenge Jeff Teague for starter’s minutes any time soon, but he’s locked down the backup point guard spot and is much improved over last year. I still don’t know what that thing in his hair is, but he…

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Kyle Korver 17 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/12/2014)

Since Kyle Korver and his handsome face have stolen multiple girlfriends from me in the past few years, I am currently done with women for the time being. Fate has seen fit to test my resolve by placing attractive females in my way as I go about my daily life, but I’m a strong man…

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Dennis Schröder 14 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/10/2014)

Dënniß ßchrööder has been turning heads lately. First with his huge dunk on the Spurs, second with two separate career highs against the Knicks, and third with that diseased patch of hair that he has. He should go to the doctor to get that checked out. Anyway, he’s been playing very well after an uninspiring…

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Dennis Schröder Career High 11 Points/5 Steals Full Highlights (11/8/2014)

Dennis Schröder’s dour expression contrasted starkly with the merriment surround him. The “Wunderbar Weiner Platter” that was placed in front of him at the table was untouched. Seated around were his Atlanta Hawk’s teammates, all happily conversing and enjoying their food. Chants of “Eins, Zwei, Drei, sich betrinken!” emanated throughout the dimly lit space. Walking…

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Kyle Korver 27 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/8/2014)

Now that Kyle Korver’s streak of whatever games with a made three is over, we can enjoy his performances for what they are, rather than in the framework of some arbitrary “record”. 6 threes in a single game is pretty good. For a lesser player, it would be a noteworthy achievement. But for Korver, it’s…

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