Jared Sullinger 21 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2014)

Am I the only who thought, during the Super Bowl, “I wish there was some NBA basketball going on right now that I could switch to?” Don’t lie. While watching that sickening blowout of a game and eating shoddily-prepared buffalo wings, you thought similar thoughts. How great would another Durant scorefest have been? Or, even…

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Chris Johnson 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (1/28/2014)

Last season there were two Chris Johnsons in the league: this one, who played in Memphis, and a taller one who played in Minnesota. It was like the scene from a terrible nightmare. Every night I checked the box-scores with dread, wondering how many Chris Johnsons had been added to rosters since the last time…

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Phil Pressey Career High 20 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/22/2014)

Oh man. No description this time. I just had some McDonald’s. I now remember why I never eat there; I’m so gassy I feel like I’m gonna die. I’m going to bed. Stay safe kids. Fine. Phil Pressey hit a bunch of threes as the commentators got more and more incredulous. And then he hit…

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Kelly Olynyk Career High 25 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2014)

“Olynyk looks like he’s playing in the Summer League” Oh yes, the NBA Summer League. Where NBA-starved fans gaze hungrily upon the new crop of rookies for the first time. Where one slick move turns into a multitude of hype-filled social media posts. Where the hopes of the faithful are raised to new heights, and…

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Avery Bradley 25 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2014)

Working intently with his fellow five-year-olds, Avery colored in his drawing. It was a badass rendition of Michael Jordan with his championship trophies. “Avery, can I have the box of crayons? I need the red.” asked his classmate Alex. “I’m not done with the red. You can have it when I’m done,” Avery answered, not…

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Kris Humphries 18 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2013)

Kris “Kardashian” Humphries is more famous for his off-court exploits than his on-court play. I don’t know who Kim Kardashian is, or why people care about her, but Kris married her, and then a bunch of other stuff happened, and now they’re not married anymore. I don’t even know what the big deal is. Marriages…

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Jordan Crawford 25 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/3/2013)

Has Jordan Crawford finally turned the corner? There was a period of time when he was one of the worst players in the league, but this year…he might actually be above average. All the difficult, ill-advised shots he takes are going in this year. As much as I would enjoy tearing him a new one,…

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Jared Sullinger Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2013)

My scouting report for Jared Sullinger used to read something like this: “Big guy who likes to shoot jumpers but isn’t particularly good at them. Can rebound. Next Charles Barkley?” My scouting was totally wrong, apparently. Because Barkley could never really shoot threes. Sullinger is apparently pretty good at them.I don’t think the rest of…

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Kelly Olynyk 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/11/2013)

You know what I like is when, instead of showing game action, the networks that show NBA games have a camera on some vapid sideline reporter talking about useless crap that no one cares about. I LOVE that. In case you’re confused, I just used the tried-and-true literary technique called “sarcasm”. I actually don’t like…

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