Jarrett Allen All 170 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)

“Do you need help finding anything?” Jarrett Allen realized that he had been standing slack-jawed at the front of the computer components section of Micro Center for at least a minute. The sheer amount of PC hardware in front of him had stunned him; now the employee thought he was some overwhelmed millennial who could…

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D’Angelo Russell All 169 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Jumperilation Part II)

D’Angelo walked into the data center bathroom and sat in a stall. His plan was to wait there until an employee came in, then follow that person out into the secure area where all the servers were. Given that he had made it clear to the tour group that he was suffering from severe gastrointestinal…

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D’Angelo Russell All 169 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Jumperilation Part I)

“Huh. That’s a lot of baseball bats.” D’Angelo Russell looked at the pile of seven baseball bats that was sitting on the checkout counter of the sporting goods store. “Yeah, well, when you’re coaching an little league team in an underprivileged part of the city, those kids aren’t bringing any of their own equipment.” He…

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Shabazz Napier 11 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (4/23/2019)

It only took Shabazz Napier 15 minutes of playing time to rack up 10 assists, a total that is way higher than any single-game total that D’Angelo Russell had this series. If Russell really wanted assists he could just ask to play with Rondae Hollis-Jefferson (Napier’s last 7 dimes went to him), but it’s still…

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Rondae Hollis-Jefferson 21 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2019)

Have we seen the last of Rondae Hollis-Jefferson in a Nets uniform? To me, all the signs point to “yes”. It’s pretty clear the Nets have moved on from RHJ. He was healthy at the end of the season but was getting DNP’s anyway. Since the Nets did’t have the world’s greatest assemblage of wing…

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Jarrett Allen 21 Points Full Highlights (4/20/2019)

Jarrett Allen has, overall, struggled to contain Joel Embiid this series. There’s no getting around it. He’s good, but he’s still a stick figure, and Embiid probably weighs twice as much as him. However, there are two bits of good news here: Bit of good news #1: Allen dropped in 21 points of his own…

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Caris LeVert 25 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (4/20/2019)

This game represents the rebirth of the LeVert/Allen connection. Last season, if Caris LeVert had a game with a lot of assists, it seemed like it was always nonstop lobs to Jarrett Allen for monster whammers. This season, I haven’t noticed their connection as much, probably because LeVert was injured for a good chunk of…

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Caris LeVert 26 Points Full Highlights (4/18/2019)

Caris Levert made his mark on this game by scoring nineteen points in the second quarter alone. And by “made his mark”, I mean he literally left his mark on the game by using his ball sweat to create an outline of his nardal region on the game ball itself. There’s not much else to…

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Caris LeVert 23 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2019)

It must be an immensely powerful feeling to be able to make a home crowd boo their own team not once, not twice, but three separate times. Twice on three-pointers, once on a driving dunk from the three-point line, Caris LeVert made bigtime plays that caused bigtime butthurt for all Philthydelphia fans in attendance. As…

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Shabazz Napier 20 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/10/2019)

I hope Shabazz Napier got to do a jersey swap with Dwyane Wade on account of how bad he RUINED the FINAL GAME OF HIS CAREER. Napier, as the kids say, “had no chill” when it came to Wade on this special night. He didn’t care that the whole banana boat crew was there. He…

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