First the Suns’ commentators, now the Nets’. Is everyone taking crazy pills? I get that the Nets’ season is a trainwreck and that the Brooklyn commentators can’t wait for it to be over, but it seems like they might have been on some mind-altering substances for this game. First, one of them deadpans “It helps…
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Bojan Bogdanovic 18 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2016)
What’s up with Bojan Bogdanovic this season? It seems like last year I was making highlights of him every other game; I’ve only done three so far this year. Part of it is that I now have higher standards for him, but a larger part of it is that he has not improved at all…
Read MoreBrook Lopez 29 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2016)
The Nets are making me sad again. They went all-in on an aging core, came up short (way short) and now their fans get to enjoy Brook Lopez dragging the corpses of his teammates through game after endless game. Donald Sloan is also involved. Whoof. That one hits really hard. I need to take a…
Read MoreShane Larkin 17 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/13/2016)
As I predicted would happen, Shane Larkin lost his starter’s job two games ago when Donald Sloan put up a gnarly 15/10 statline. However, Sloan did not play very well in either of the games he started, so I’m thinking that Larkin probably gets the job back at some point. It’s a pointless exercise, however,…
Read MoreDonald Sloan 15 Points/10 Assists/1 Crossover Dunk Full Highlights (1/9/2016)
The thing you have to remember about Donald Sloan is that he once scored 31 points in an NBA game. Not a D-League game either. A real life NBA game against real life NBA opposition. Is that the most anomalous scoring performance of the last two years? It’s gotta be close; Sloan regularly scores in…
Read MoreWayne Ellington 26 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/28/2015)
Wayne “Beefy W” Ellington has not been as advertised with the Brooklyn Nets. Not really a surprise; he’s not that good of a player even on his best days and in a perfect situation. The Nets had the right idea getting a 3-point chucking guard for cheap, but in their endless quagmire of suckiness, it…
Read MoreBojan Bogdanovic 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/23/2015)
“Dear Father, My need grows more urgent by the day. The hair on my head abandons me like a deserter abandons his post. Meanwhile, you are able to maintain a full head of beautiful thick hair even in your advanced age. Since we know that baldness is a trait that is passed from father to…
Read MoreThaddeus Young 29 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2015)
Thaddeus Young scoring 29 points may not seem like a very exciting performance to you. You ignorant pleb. Let me show you the numerous errors in the labored and excruciatingly slow process you call “thinking”. Firstly, the Mad Thadder hit 14 shots to get his 29 points, including a single (clutch) triple, while missing all…
Read MoreJarrett Jack 22 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (12/16/2015)
“You can’t ignore me forever, DTB.” Startled by the unexpected voice behind me, I turn my chair away from the computer screen to find that Jarrett Jack has entered my office. This is not the first time an NBA player has intruded upon the sanctity of my abode, so I am able to respond calmly….
Read MoreAndrea Bargnani 23 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2015)
There is no reason that Andrew Bargnani, RIGHT NOW, could not score 15 points a game. No reason. Look at the teammates he’s playing with! The offensive cupboards, as they say, are bare. Scoring the ball has become a burdensome chore for the Nets. Easy solution: just feed Bargs the ball like they did when…
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