Cody Zeller 17 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2015)

Maybe I’m displaying my ignorance here, but wasn’t Cody Zeller supposed to be more of a scorer than he is right now? It’s his third year in the league and he’s only scored in the twenties two times. I get that he’s been competing with Al Jefferson for those three years, thus robbing him of…

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Frank Kaminsky 11 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2015)

Guess what, losers. I just went through the entire highlight making process, from clip gathering to description writing, while EATING a god damn BURGER. Can DawkIns do that? What about dorell15? No? Huh. That’s funny, because I totally just did. Greased up my keyboard pretty good, and you know what, it was totally worth it….

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Nicolas Batum 33 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2015)

Has a three-person commentary team ever succeeded in the NBA? This is a serious question posed in a serious manner. Because, honestly, every time a team tries to field three TV commentators at the same, it just totally sucks. There’s a color-man, and there’s an analyst. What’s the third person? Random jokes guy? Player anecdotes…

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Nicolas Batum 28 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2015)

The little Nicolas Batum sat restlessly with his parents in the waiting room at the child psychologist’s office. His mom looked over to him. “Stop fidgeting, Nic, you’re making me nervous.” She then glanced at her husband, who looked very much like he’d rather be anywhere else, and was staring at the floor determinedly. “But…

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Nicolas Batum 24 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2015)

In recognition of Nicolas Batum’s season-high performance tonight, I have made him this coupon, to be redeemed whenever he wishes: ———————————————————- |…………………………………………………..| |…….The bearer of this coupon………| |….Is entitled to one (1) ball-punch…| |…………………………………………………..| |…………………………………………………..| |…………………………………………………..| |………..Cash value 1/100 cents……..| ———————————————————-

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Jeremy Lamb 18 Points/1 Poster Dunk Full Highlights (11/10/2015)

When I first saw that contract that the Hornets just gave Jeremy Lamb, you can imagine my reaction. That’s right: I did that confusion-indicating head-tilt thing that dogs do when their owner asks if they want to go for walkies. Except instead of the prospect of fun exercise with my human, I was faced with…

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Marvin Williams 17 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2015)

Seventeen points for Marvin Williams might not seem video-worthy, but there is reason behind my madness. I’m simply not convinced that Marvin will improve on this performance at any point during the season. Last year he scored seventeen or more four times, but the highest was nineteen, showing that even when he’s having the game…

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Al Jefferson 31 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2015)

If there’s one thing that Al Jefferson’s performance tonight has taught us, it’s that Dirk Nowitzki absolutely cannot guard anything anymore. Neither can Zaza Pachulia. I mean, we mostly knew that before about Dirk, but there was always the possibility that he would still be able to defend passably in one-on-one post-up situations. That possibility…

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Jeremy Lamb 20 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2015)

There is one thing that people are talking about right now regarding Jeremy Lamb. What’s the status of his sleazy glam-rock band, Jeremy and the Little Lambs? Last I heard, they were playing for near empty venues, with frontman Jeremy chewing out drummer Kendrick Perkins for never showing up to practice, and crying in the…

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