Jeremy Lamb 22 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2016)

Why does Jeremy Lamb look so sleepy all the time? His eyes are half-closed even when he’s going hard. If I walked around looking that sleepy people would ask me if I needed a nap. One has to wonder if Jeremy’s perpetual just-woke-up-after-not-enough-sleep look is effecting his league-wide value. Nobody wants a lazy oaf with…

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Frank Kaminsky 23 Points Full HIghlights (12/23/2015)

I’m gonna be honest with you: These might be the most unentertaining rookie-year 23 point highlights that I’ve ever seen. It’s just not fun to watch at all. Yeah, it’s Frank Kaminsky, and yeah, he’s scoring a career-high in points. That description is way more fun than the video itself. Maybe I’ve been watching too…

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Jeremy Lin 35 Points Full Highlights (12/17/2015)

Jeremy Lin was curled up in his papasan along with his dog, Aethelstan. He fidgeted with his phone nervously. “What do you think, boy, should I do it?” He muttered to Aethelstan, who responded by rearranging himself so as to be more tightly wound around his owner’s legs. Jeremy sighed. He had nagged Dirk Nowitzki…

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Frank Kaminsky 15 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)

Frank Kaminsky was getting ready for the game against the Grizzlies, when he noticed a slouched, white-bearded figure in the corner of the locker room, beckoning him. He wondered how he had noticed the man before; the mass of blankets covering him as he sat in a rocking-chair were out of place amongst the athletic…

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Marvin Williams 18 Points Full Highlights (12/9/2015)

It might seem a little weird to you that Marvin Williams AKA “Warvin Milliams” is currently having his best season in half a decade. An old man like him should be withering into the obscure dust of time, not experiencing a career revitalization. Then you remember that he entered the league at age 19 and…

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Cody Zeller 17 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2015)

Maybe I’m displaying my ignorance here, but wasn’t Cody Zeller supposed to be more of a scorer than he is right now? It’s his third year in the league and he’s only scored in the twenties two times. I get that he’s been competing with Al Jefferson for those three years, thus robbing him of…

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Frank Kaminsky 11 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2015)

Guess what, losers. I just went through the entire highlight making process, from clip gathering to description writing, while EATING a god damn BURGER. Can DawkIns do that? What about dorell15? No? Huh. That’s funny, because I totally just did. Greased up my keyboard pretty good, and you know what, it was totally worth it….

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Nicolas Batum 33 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2015)

Has a three-person commentary team ever succeeded in the NBA? This is a serious question posed in a serious manner. Because, honestly, every time a team tries to field three TV commentators at the same, it just totally sucks. There’s a color-man, and there’s an analyst. What’s the third person? Random jokes guy? Player anecdotes…

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Nicolas Batum 28 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2015)

The little Nicolas Batum sat restlessly with his parents in the waiting room at the child psychologist’s office. His mom looked over to him. “Stop fidgeting, Nic, you’re making me nervous.” She then glanced at her husband, who looked very much like he’d rather be anywhere else, and was staring at the floor determinedly. “But…

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