Kris Dunn 17 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/15/2017)

Kris “You Dunn Goofed” Dunn continues to play well after his disappointing rookie season, you know, the rookie season where a majority of GM’s across the league thought he would be the ROTY of the year. Usually these kind of games from Dunn would feel good for me, but not this time, since his strong…

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Nikola Mirotic 22 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2017)

The Nikola Mirotic comeback tour continues as the Bulls win their fifth (one two three four FIF) game in a row right on the heels of a 10-game losing streak. Five games featuring Mirotic, five wins. It wasn’t possible for this to be a coincidence after the fourth one, but now it’s really super-duper ultra…

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Bobby Portis Career High 27 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2017)

No Markkanen, no problem. No one on the Bucks could handle Bobby Portis tonight. Neither could they handle Robin Lopez, but he’s not the one who just got a career-high in points. Thon Maker, in particular, made me wish that he was back in Canada going through high school for the third time. Portis basically…

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Nikola Mirotic 29 Points Full Highlights (12/13/2017)

I’m sure you’ve seen this stat by now: the Bulls are 4-0 since Nikola Mirotic returned from his facial fracturization. Is it a coincidence, or is Niko a top-10 player capable of carrying a team by himself, or is the truth somewhere in between? Let’s analyze the facts. Arguments in favor of coincidentiality: -Even bad…

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Bobby Portis 23 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2017)

Bobby Portis and Nikola Mirotic took a break from punching each other in the face tonight, instead focusing their fists on a new foe: the Boston Celtics. Together, united in hatred of a common enemy, they repeatedly rammed their fists into the testicles of the Celtics, with Portis scoring a career-high 23 and Mirotic scoring…

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Nikola Mirotic 24 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2017)

I seriously don’t see why they need to give you so much food at Chinese restaurants. Is one person supposed to be able to eat all that General Tso’s chicken? Not to mention the “free” Crab Rangoons that I DIDN’T EVEN ASK FOR. Those things aren’t even good. Where’s the crab? There’s hardly any crab…

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David Nwaba 15 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/9/2017)

Does David Nwaba even have any traditional shooting guard skills or is he a big man trapped in a little man’s body? He’s not much of a passer from what I can see, he doesn’t orchestrate the offense, and he’s not much of a shooter despite the “shooting guard” label. His main selling points are…

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Nikola Mirotic 19 Points Full Highlights (12/9/2017)

Nikola Mirotic lay in his hospital bed, watching the TV but not really seeing it. His thoughts were swirling, as they had been for days, thoughts of injustice and of… A sudden rap on the door startled him out of his reverie. Nikola cleared his throat, then rasped “Come in”. The door opened, and a…

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Kris Dunn 17 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (12/9/2017)

Kris “Kringle” Dunn is proving the haters wrong, probably including me. I’m feeling equal parts lazy and sheepish, so I’m not going to recount all the ignorant hateful garbage I spewed in Dunn’s direction in previous descriptions. I actually don’t remember anything truly awful, mostly it was just me saying how much he was sucking…

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Lauri Markkanen 24 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2017)

Lauri “Valkoinen Mammi” Markkanen hasn’t been doing as great lately. Someone once told me that’s what NBA rookies do, get in slumps, but I didn’t believe them then and I don’t believe them now. Slumps are a concept created by the powers that be to make player’s ridiculous contracts justifiable. If Markkanen’s stats are worse,…

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