Robin Lopez 25 Points Full Highlights (2/13/2019)

Over the last few games, Robin Lopez has been outscoring his eternal nemesis since birth, Brook Lopez. As far as I can tell, this statistical anomaly is made possible by the fact that Robin has a coach who still foolishly thinks that having a bigman play around the basket is a GOOD thing. Pffpfpfpft. Pft….

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Otto Porter Career High 37 Points Full Highlights (2/13/2019)

Washington Wizards fans, all eight of them, must be wondering where this Otto Porter impostor came from, because he certainly didn’t do anything like this while he played for them this season. And my answer to them would be, this is no impostor, this is the Otto Porter that’s been there all along, except now…

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Robin Lopez 18 Points Full Highlights (2/9/2019)

Stacey King is really reaching deep into the annals of NBA history with the long-past Chicago centers he brings up whenever Robin Lopez does anything. He’s starting to reuse names now, but this is the first time I’m hearing of “Earl Cureton”, who played half a season with MJ back in the day. If he’s…

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Wayne Selden 17 Points Full Highlights (2/9/2019)

What’s up with Wayne Selden’s eyes? They’re really…bright. Like he’s wearing colored contacts or something. I find myself inexplicably being drawn to him. Looking at multiple closeup shots of his face while selecting a thumbnail image for this video has seriously overexposed me to his eyes. I’ve noticed this in the past as well but…

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Lauri Markkanen 31 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2019)

Before you get all mad at me for not including Lauri Markkanen’s eighteen rebounds in the title of this video, let me remind you that eighteen rebounds is not even Markkanen’s highest rebounding total this season. He got nineteen in a game once. So this isn’t even exciting. My heart rate is not elevated at…

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Otto Porter 18 Points Bulls Debut Full Highlights (2/8/2019)

Bulls without Otto Porter: 1 19-point or more win in 54 attempts. Bulls with Otto Porter: 1 19-point or more win in 1 attempt. It doesn’t take a genius to see the trend here: Otto Porter is the franchise-changer that Chicago desperately needed. Although, in truth, you can change the “Otto Porter” to “Jabari Parker”…

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Kris Dunn 18 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/6/2019)

Kris “The Dunnwich Horror” Dunn apparently has a “pelvis contusion” right now and is day-to-day. I had to look up what “contusion” is because do I look like a doctor to you? After doing some seriously in-depth research, I found out that contusion is when you contuse something. So Kunn contused his pelvis. Since I…

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Lauri Markkanen 30 Points Full Highlights (2/6/2019)

Normally I would be getting on Lauri Markkanen’s case for making a layup with two seconds left in a game that was obviously going to be a loss. Not because of any feeble argument about “sportsmanship” (a concept which does not encompass whining about players playing until the end of the game), but because I…

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Lauri Markkanen 30 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2019)

Thirteen free throws is by far the career high for Lauri Markkanen in that stat. His previous career highs were seven attempts and six makes; Markkanen nearly doubled those totals by making all thirteen of his attempts in this game. Usually, career-highs in a stat are something to be celebrated, but there is nothing more…

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Bobby Portis 33 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2019)

Bobby Portis absolutely torched the Hornets in the first half, scoring 28 points from all areas of the court. Using the fantastic powers of your human brain, apply the concepts of mathematics to figure out how many points he scored in the second half, knowing that information as well as the knowing the title of…

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