Justin Holiday 27 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2018)

I’m cool with how Justin Holiday played tonight. He played great. What I’m not cool with is how is hair looks like he dropped a bag of Cheetos into a waffle iron and left it on for three hours. Is there a pact among the Holiday brothers to all have goofy hair? Because they all…

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Ryan Arcidiacono 14 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

If you’re getting jealous of how handsome Ryan Arcidiacono is (I’m not), just remember that he’s probably having a seriously underwhelming Thanksgiving right now. There are two ways that this could be happening. Way one: he’s sitting by himself in his swank Chicago townhouse eating a Stouffer’s turkey frozen dinner and drinking cheep bear, staring…

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Jabari Parker 20 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

Jabari Parker must have seen the latest RPM stats from ESPN that show him as the worst player in the league, because what I saw of him while making this highlight video was nothing like the Jabari that I’ve seen previously this season. This Jabari was taking good shots, not Melo-style ISO jimbos. This Jabari…

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Antonio Blakeney 18 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2018)

The league has swung so far in favor of efficient three-point bombers and scoring totals distributed evenly among teammates that it’s almost a breath of fresh air to see a guy like Antonio Blakeney, who doesn’t really care about his teammates and will take whatever shot he wants. Players like Blakeny are in demand almost…

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Justin Holiday 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/16/2018)

I wasn’t too salty when Justin Holiday hit three of three from deep in the first quarter of this game. I was way saltier about Jabari going off. Holiday, who is known to be an adequate three-point shooter, is very capable of getting hot for a small stretch of game. It’s not something that’s worth…

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Jabari Parker 21 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2018)

To commemorate the return of Jabari Parker to Milwaukee, I snuggled up with my little kitty Japurri Purrker to watch the game. I had all kinds of special snacks at the ready: five bags of Gardettos-brand snack mix in a punch bowl, Bagel Bites (pepperoni flavor) fresh out of the oven, Sun Drop soda (I…

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Shaquille Harrison 16 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2018)

There is very little you can do to convince me that Shaquille Harrison is not the third component of what was previously thought to be the Harrison “twins”. He’s a little shorter, and the authorities claim he’s a year older (IS LIE), but there’s no rule that says that twins/triplets have to be the same…

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Ryan Arcidiacono 15 Points Full Highlights (11/10/2018)

I may have jumped the gun a bit by calling Ryan Arcidiacono “the Bull’s best point guard”. I still think he and Antonio Blakeney (king of chuckers) make a great backcourt tandem, if not in pure skill at least in fit. They’ve probably dominated their share of G-League games together, at least. You can assume….

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Wendell Carter 17 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/7/2018)

Wendell Carter: squarest-headed player in the league? I would make a power rankings with him at the top, but I can’t think of any other players that are even close to his perfect rectangularity. The thumbnail doesn’t make it as apparent, but frontal views fully show his right-angled and equal-sided visage. This is the kind…

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Jabari Parker 20 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)

I’m obsessed with the idea of win-shares. They’re my favorite “advanced” stat. I have no idea how they work, what they’re supposed to be measuring, or what makes them better than other stats. I like them because I can see them easily on basketball-reference, the only NBA stats site that I can use without wanting…

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