Tristan Thompson 18 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2020)

Okay Tristan Thompson, you’ve had your fun, you scored 35 in one game then manhandled “MVP candidate” Nikola Jokic in a big win on the road in the next, now it’s time to take a step back. Maybe feign an injury, maybe really get an injury, all I know is, it’s time for John Henson…

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Darius Garland 18 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/11/2020)

There’s a reason you have to be careful when criticizing rookies playing their very first months of NBA games. Yeah, they might be really sucking, but there’s a very good chance that what you’re seeing from them is the worst you’re ever going to see from them until they’re old and washed up. The NBA…

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Darius Garland 20 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/9/2020)

Has Darius Garland turned the proverbial corner? Has he stopped playing like a slug and started playing like a 5th overall pick? Has he he figured out the intricacies of the NBA game and will now start playing with pose and confidence? I don’t know about all of that, but he was pretty good tonight….

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Tristan Thompson Career High 35 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2020)

Tristan Thompson could feel that he was lying down on a hard surface. Why would that be the case? The chances of him going to sleep somewhere so uncomfortable were remote. He decided to open his eyes rather than stubbornly keep them shut. The sight that greeted his opened eyes was a beautiful, yet confusing,…

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Ante Zizic 15 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2020)

I need a Cavaliers fan, or perhaps multiple fans, to tell me what exactly is so wrong with Ante “Antetozizpo” Zizic that he doesn’t hardly get any minutes even on a horrible team. Be as specific as possible. It’s freaking me out that I can’t figure it out, because apparently his flaws are so deep…

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Dante Exum Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2020)

“This isn’t funny guys,” Dante Exum called out to the empty hallway. A group of his teammates had told him about the “secret media room” where there was “tons of free food” available before games. But Dante had somehow gotten separated from them in the unfamiliar corridors of the Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse, and now he…

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Darius Garland 20 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2020)

The Cavaliers’ aptly-named “Young Inefficient Tunnel-Vision Midget Chuck Bros” tandem actually had a pretty good game tonight! Collin Sexton put up 30 (along with a whopping 2 assists, which is a large amount considering that when he has the ball he is literally incapable of seeing anything other than the rim), and Garland had 20…

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Cedi Osman 22 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2020)

Pictured: Cedi Osman desperately, but ultimately unsuccessfully, attempting to get one of the Cavaliers’ young guards to pass him the dang ball. Not pictured: Kevin Love stomping around the post-game locker room yelling obscenities and destroying furniture while Cedi Osman looks on sadly. It’s not Osman’s fault that the Cavaliers are so dysfunctional. From my…

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Darius Garland 18 Points Full Highlights (12/28/2019)

One of the reasons the draft works so well is because the best players go to the worst teams, allowing them the most chances to score tons of points and get everyone all hyped up for them. This increases the overall excitement of the league by quite a bit. If highly-touted rookies got to just…

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Darius Garland 21 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2019)

Okay, whoops, I just totally forgot that I actually had to write some words for Darius Garland instead of just blazing ahead and making another video. Could it be that I secretly resent having to compose all these paragraphs and wish that I could just make endless videos without being required to offer my inane…

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