Bogdan Bogdanovic 22 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2018)

Tonight was a highly anticipated battle between the two newest Serbs in the NBA: Milos Teodosic and Bogdan Bogdanovic. Not everyone got the chance to watch the game, and highlights don’t tell the whole story, so with the power of analytical factual true analysis, I will attempt to derive who had the better game, who…

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Ricky Rubio 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/30/2017)

Last night was a battle of Spanish point guards as the young (Ricky “Sexy Eyes” Rubio) faced off against the old (Jose Calderon). But who is the better player? Through the use of facts, double- and triple-checked for factuality, I will determine which player is officially better and present my FINAL OFFICIAL VERDICT and the…

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Zach Randolph 35 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2017)

Sacramento was tonight the location of a momentous battle between the Kings’ present, Zach Randolph, and the Kings’ past, DeMarcus Cousins. The Kings’ future, Skal Labissiere, was not present because he was banished to the D-League for sleeping with Dave Joerger’s wife. So who came out on top in this battle of Kings legends? Was…

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Daniel Theis 12 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2017)

Daniel Theis vs. Maxi Kleber: who is the better German rookie? In this description I will factually analyze the facts with analysis and give you an official verdict so that you don’t have to try to form opinions yourself. SCORING: Theis is averaging 4.3 PPG. Kleber is averaging 3.9 PPG. Any moron should be able…

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Bojan Bogdanovic 21 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2017)

Tonight was a hotly-anticipated matchup between Bojan Bogdanovic and Dario Saric. While they were overshadowed by “better” players on their respective teams, they both made an impact. But who came out on top? Let’s take a look at the facts, and with the facts come to a truthful and correct conclusion. NATIONALITY: Both dudes are…

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Jamal Murray 24 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2017)

Jamal Murray: BETTER or WORSE than Flip Murray? Let’s take a look at the facts: TEAM: Jamal Murray has played for just one team, the Nuggets. Flip Murray played for a bunch of different teams, eight by my count, probably because he wasn’t very good. ADVANTAGE: Jamal PPG: Jamal Murray is averaging 10.2 points per…

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Steven Adams 20 Points Full Highlights (10/27/2017)

Steven Adams: Thunder’s best player? Let’s run down the list. Russell Westbrook doesn’t know what to do with two other stars on his team and he’s not even averaging a triple-double. What a bum. Total trash. Steven Adams isn’t averaging a triple-double either but that’s because he plays within his role. Also if Steven Adams…

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Jakob Poeltl 14 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (10/21/2017)

The Raptors’ center situation can be viewed, not as a clash of basketball players and their respective talents, but as a geopolitically-charged morass that’s waiting to explode at any moment. With Valanciunas represnting Lithuania, Poeltl representing Austria, and Nogueira representing Brazil, you can bet that the embassies of these countries are watching the situation very…

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Jonathon Simmons 18 Points Full Highlights (5/11/2017)

Jonathon Simmons: Better than James Harden? Let’s take a look at the facts: POINTS: Simmons scored 18 points in this game. Harden scored 10 (LOL [lots of laughs]). ADVANTAGE: Simmons DEFENSE: Simmons plays defense. Harden doesn’t. ADVANTAGE: Simmons PASSING: Simmons had four assists. Harden had seven. But Harden’s assists were just a product of him…

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Kristaps Porzingis 34 Points/1 Fight Full Highlights (12/13/2016)

Kristaps Porzingis vs. Marquese Chriss: who ya got? I’m talking about if they actually fought with their fists here. Not what really happened, which wasn’t indicative of anything except that NBA players don’t, when it comes to down to it, actually want to throw down. Let’s take a look at the facts, shall we? MUSCULATURE:…

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