Brandan Wright 12 Points/4 Dunks/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/22/2014)

Brandan Wright reclined lazily on his golden throne, a throne which rose above everything else in the hall. It glowed with an inner light, lending Brandan a halo that made him look almost angelic. A jewel-studded crown was perched on his head, and in his hand, he wielded a scepter on top of which was…

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Chandler Parsons 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/11/2014)

Chandler Parsons is slumping pretty hard to start his tenure with the Mavs. He’s had plenty of good games, but he also went a combined 2-of-20 in the games before this one. He may have “gotten paid” this Summer, leading to less focus, but that’s not the whole story. He also “got swole” during the…

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Jae Crowder 15 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2014)

Does anybody else have a strong, almost primal urge to cuddle with Jae Crowder’s dreads? Jae Crowder himself I don’t care about, but those things on his head…I would just love to wrap my face up in them. I bet they’re soft like a baby bunny. They probably smell nice too. If the Mavs ever…

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Tyson Chandler 15 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (11/7/2014)

Explain to me how this is fair: Tyson Chandler can dunk. He can dunk so good that against NBA-level defenders, he gets to dunk four times. Meanwhile, I can’t even touch the net. Heck, I need a footstool just to reach the tall cupboards in my kitchen. The one and only time I dunked, it…

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Al-Farouq Aminu 16 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

We all know about anime conventions. It’s where overweight nerds gather to talk about the plot intricacies of their Chinese little girl cartoons, and to argue about which googly-eyed anime girl is the cutest. What if we had an “Aminu Convention”? How sick would that be? Instead of a bunch of guys dressed up like…

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Devin Harris 17 points/5 Assists Full Highlights (10/28/2014)

First night of the season and I’m already disappointed. Would it have been so hard for the Mavs to trot out some exciting young talent last night? I watch Dirk with the knowledge that he’s going to disintegrate soon. I need fresh faces to keep those thoughts in the background. Looking at their roster, never…

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Dirk Nowitzki All 145 Fadeaway Jumpers Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dirkilation)

Dirk Nowitzki sat down at his desk, finally having made himself ready for this task of greatest import. Getting out the flamboyant feather pen that he kept around for occasions such as these, he looked at the blank parchment in front of him, wondering if he would know what to write. He had never been…

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Devin Harris 17 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (5/4/2014)

Here’s some statlines for you: Player A: 12 points on 3 of 11 shooting, 2 assists and 2 turnovers. Player B: 17 points on 6 of 10 shooting, 3 assists and 3 turnovers. One of these players have it all. The other is an injured, past his prime player. Can you figure out which is…

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Vince Carter 28 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (4/30/2014)

If your cockles of your heart aren’t warmed by the semi-resurgent play of Vince Carter, then I suggest you get your cockles checked out by your physician because they are obviously defective. I’m being serious. My uncle almost died due to cold cockles. I hope Vince can keep up what he’s been doing late in…

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Jose Calderon 16 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (4/26/2014)

The mood at the Dallas-area Chipotle was jubilant. “…and then it went straight in! Like it was no big deal! Ha ha ha, WOOOOOO!” Shawn Marion was retelling the story of Vince Cater’s game winning shot earlier that afternoon against the Spurs. Ignoring, of course, that the shot was the whole reason they were there…

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