Seth Curry 23 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2016)

Add Seth Curry to the “List of Dudes People Thought Would Be Better On a New Team”. He’s not WAY off what he was doing last year with the Kings (unless you’re looking at his last few games with them, then yeah, he’s way off), but I was thinking major improvement was in store for…

Read More

J.J. Barea 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/6/2016)

“This is going to be so funny,” Dirk giggled as he sat on the floor next to J.J. Barea’s locker, applying mortar to a pile of nearby bricks. “J.J.’s gonna be pissed.” “I hope he gets the joke,” said Harrison Barnes, who was overseeing the construction project. “It would be lame if we had to…

Read More

Harrison Barnes 34 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2016)

I’m not mad at all that Harrison Barnes totally whooped the Bucks by toasting Jabari and Snell repeatedly. I have transcended sports fandom to become a totally neutral observer, watching the proceedings with only a scientific curiosity, rather than the rabid obsession of a fan. Watching Barnes cook up some of his special-recipe beastsauce and…

Read More

Wesley Matthews 25 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2016)

Whoof. Not a great game shooting-wise for Wesley Matthews. His point total looks good, which is all I (and you) really care about, but still. 3 of 15 from three is not a good look. Luckily, I don’t deal in lowlights. These are highlights, and he still made 9 shots, including a really super ultra…

Read More

Harrison Barnes Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (10/28/2016)

There’s no way that even the most ardent of Mavericks diehards expected this kind of performance from Harrison Barnes this early in the season. Not after the preseason he had. I know, I know, you don’t need to tell me that preseason stats mean nothing. But his were just SO BAD. If you told me…

Read More

Harrison Barnes 19 Points Mavericks Debut Full Highlights (10/26/2016)

Everyone keeps having not-very-nice things to say about Harrison Barnes. “He sucks”, they say. But then they go into more detail: “How is he supposed to be good when he couldn’t even take advantage of all the open looks he got with the Warriors?”, “He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn during the…

Read More

Dirk Nowitzki All 74 Fadeaway Jumpers Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dirkilation)

Since learning of the free-agency curse which afflicted the Dallas Mavericks, due to the construction of the American Airlines Center defiling a 1600’s-era Catholic missionary, Dirk Nowitzki found that he could no longer sleep. His nights were restless, his days, groggy. Thoughts of the Mavericks’ free-agency failings persisted through any attempts to banish them, and…

Read More

Dirk Nowitzki All 126 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-16 Three-ilation)

Dirk Nowitzki stealthily made his way to the furthest corner of the American Airlines Center. Here, there was a forbidden door; he opened it and proceeded down the stairs that were revealed to him: the stairs that led to the remnants of the old Spanish mission upon which the arena had been built. Dirk wandered…

Read More

JaVale McGee All 49 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)

The two tall men embraced in the terminal of Dallas/Fort Worth airport. The taller of the two was dressed in a baby blue tank top, extra-small green running shorts, a pink feather boa, and a top hat. The shorter was dressed in the same purple suit that he had been wearing when they had said…

Read More

Justin Anderson 14 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (4/25/2016)

Justin Anderson is finally playing with confidence and producing for the Mavericks. How do I know? Because the commentators during this series wouldn’t shut up about how they “like how he is playing” and he “is maturing in the postseason” and “isn’t afraid of the moment” and stuff like that. I guess when an underdog…

Read More