Tyson Chandler 18 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

Everything about this Mavs team seems destined for success. It’s exactly the narrative that the NBA would have written if they were given free reign to do so. Tyson Chandler reunites with the player formerly known as Dirk Nowinski to again attain the magic that allowed them to win it all in 2011. They’ve even…

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Charlie Villanueva 11 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (11/29/2014)

Charlie “Alopecia” Villanueva has always been an absolute chuckmaster. When he gets in the game, all he ever looks to do is score. This can be a valuable trait, and in fact, it was a valuable trait for the first few years of Charlie’s career, but his percentages now range from “pathetic” to “sad”. If…

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Brandan Wright 12 Points/4 Dunks/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/22/2014)

Brandan Wright reclined lazily on his golden throne, a throne which rose above everything else in the hall. It glowed with an inner light, lending Brandan a halo that made him look almost angelic. A jewel-studded crown was perched on his head, and in his hand, he wielded a scepter on top of which was…

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Chandler Parsons 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/11/2014)

Chandler Parsons is slumping pretty hard to start his tenure with the Mavs. He’s had plenty of good games, but he also went a combined 2-of-20 in the games before this one. He may have “gotten paid” this Summer, leading to less focus, but that’s not the whole story. He also “got swole” during the…

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Jae Crowder 15 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2014)

Does anybody else have a strong, almost primal urge to cuddle with Jae Crowder’s dreads? Jae Crowder himself I don’t care about, but those things on his head…I would just love to wrap my face up in them. I bet they’re soft like a baby bunny. They probably smell nice too. If the Mavs ever…

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Tyson Chandler 15 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (11/7/2014)

Explain to me how this is fair: Tyson Chandler can dunk. He can dunk so good that against NBA-level defenders, he gets to dunk four times. Meanwhile, I can’t even touch the net. Heck, I need a footstool just to reach the tall cupboards in my kitchen. The one and only time I dunked, it…

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Al-Farouq Aminu 16 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2014)

We all know about anime conventions. It’s where overweight nerds gather to talk about the plot intricacies of their Chinese little girl cartoons, and to argue about which googly-eyed anime girl is the cutest. What if we had an “Aminu Convention”? How sick would that be? Instead of a bunch of guys dressed up like…

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Devin Harris 17 points/5 Assists Full Highlights (10/28/2014)

First night of the season and I’m already disappointed. Would it have been so hard for the Mavs to trot out some exciting young talent last night? I watch Dirk with the knowledge that he’s going to disintegrate soon. I need fresh faces to keep those thoughts in the background. Looking at their roster, never…

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Dirk Nowitzki All 145 Fadeaway Jumpers Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dirkilation)

Dirk Nowitzki sat down at his desk, finally having made himself ready for this task of greatest import. Getting out the flamboyant feather pen that he kept around for occasions such as these, he looked at the blank parchment in front of him, wondering if he would know what to write. He had never been…

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Devin Harris 17 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (5/4/2014)

Here’s some statlines for you: Player A: 12 points on 3 of 11 shooting, 2 assists and 2 turnovers. Player B: 17 points on 6 of 10 shooting, 3 assists and 3 turnovers. One of these players have it all. The other is an injured, past his prime player. Can you figure out which is…

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