Dennis Schröder 25 Points Full Highlights (2/9/2018)

At what point do the Hawks sit Dënniß ßchrööder with a nonexistent injury? I’m thinking after the All-Star break. They’ll claim something like knee soreness, dress him up in the fanciest suit they can find, and have him sit soundlessly on the bench while Isaiah Taylor commands the tank straight into the dirt underneath Philips…

Read More

Dennis Schröder 25 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2018)

20 shot attempts. 1 assist. Not an uncommon occurence in the NBA (Anthony Davis scored 48 without a single dime), but a strange one for Dënniß ßchrööder. I’m aware that he doesn’t really love passing the way some of the great PGs did, but only a single assist seems awfully low. There were recently rumors…

Read More

Dennis Schröder 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/15/2018)

This was a good win for the Hawks. They needed every bit of clutchness in Dënniß ßchrööder’s body to pull it off, but they did it. Fanatical proponents of tanking will object that they won this game, but even one win like this against a good team can keep morale up for whole strings of…

Read More

Dennis Schröder Career High 34 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights

Dënniß ßchrööder has seen an increase in his scoring averages every season since he’s been in the league, but when taken per-minute, he’s basically the same player he was in his sophomore season. A little more scoring, same efficiency. If this was just a year-to-year thing, I wouldn’t make any conclusions, but since four years…

Read More

Dennis Schröder 27 Points Full Highlights (1/7/2018)

First Lieutenant Dënniß ßchrööder, Tank Commader, is looking to earn the dubious “best player on the worst team” title in addition to his prestigious military rank. Last season the title went to Brook Lopez, who now sucks on the second worst team in the league. ßchrööder doesn’t seem likely to leave the Hawks any time…

Read More

Dennis Schröder Career High 33 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

Dënniß ßchrööder, with this performance, has shown who the real savior of basketball in Germany is. It’s not Dirk Nowitzki, and it’s definitely not Maxi Kleber. Those two dudes are crying in their beds right now, knowing that they are obsolete. Can you guess who it is? You should be able to, if not, look…

Read More

Dennis Schröder 27 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2017)

Did Dënniß ßchrööder just EXPOSE the Cavaliers? I think he did. Evidence will now be presented for the exposal: Evidence 1: this video. Watch it, and you will see that the Cavaliers had no answer for Schroder just driving straight to the basket and laying it up. Jose Calderon couldn’t contain him at all, and…

Read More

Dennis Schröder 26 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/24/2017)

With this last 26-point effort, Dennis “Sexy Nubian Princess” Schröder is now back over 20 PPG for the season. This allows me to present my OFFICIAL PLAYERS WHO ARE SCORING 20 PPG POWER RANKINGS [RANKED ON HOW MUCH PEOPLE CARE ABOUT THEM] (NOVEMBER 2017 EDITION): 1. LeBron James 2. Stephen Curry 3. Kevin Durant 4….

Read More

Dennis Schröder 23 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2017)

I have come to the regrettable determination that Dënniß ßchrööder no longer has any fans. In his fifth year in the league he’s pretty well established himself as a fringe All-Star who can average something close to 20/7, but there doesn’t seem to be a contingent of people who are rallying behind him as the…

Read More

Dennis Schröder 28 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

Dënniß ßchrööder kinda took over the game in the third quarter tonight. Derrick Rose couldn’t hold him at all, which is expected I guess. Jae Crowder couldn’t hold him either. No one could hold him. He was unholdable. The Rajon Rondo comparisons from earlier in his career should be pretty much invalidated by now. As…

Read More