Dennis Schröder 23 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2018)

Here’s something I’ve been wondering for a while: does Dënniß ßchrööder have the ability to grow facial hair? Like, at all? I’ve never seen him with even a wisp of facial hair anywhere on his face, nary a trace. No indication whatsoever at any point that he’s capable of even growing one follicle anwhere on…

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Dennis Schröder 32 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

Walking the back halls of Oracle Arena, Dennis Schröder cleared his head before the game. It was always beneficial for his state of mind if he took some time away from his teammates and coaches. Underneath his jersey, he could feel the rough brown fabric of the Magic Lederhosen against his skin, and he took…

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Dennis Schröder 28 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2018)

No Russell Westbrook, no problem. Dennis Schröder is a reasonable approximation, the only difference is that he’s not a stat-padder. Well, one of two differences. The other difference is that he’s not really interested in passing the ball (as if Westbrook would be if he didn’t have to do it to get triple-doubles). Schröder’s assist…

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Dennis Schröder 22 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2018)

“Yo Dennis, what are those ugly things you’re putting on?” Russell Westbrook ribbed in the locker room before the game. “Suspenders made out of paper bags?” Dennis Schröder looked down at his outfit, then looked back up at his teammate, affixing him with a cold stare. Silently, he beseeched the spirits of German basketball players…

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Dennis Schröder 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/1/2018)

Dënniß ßchrööder isn’t having the best of starts to his Thunder tenure. Maybe it’s because he’s so used to the empty Hawks arena, or he’s possibly misplaced his Magic Lederhosen, but his already questionable shooting is way down this season. I would try to attribute this to the “Westbrook Effect” (which is something I made…

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Dennis Schröder 21 Points/6 Assists Thunder Debut Full Highlights (10/16/2018)

(In case you’re coming to this video from somewhere other than the video that contains part one of this story, here’s a quick rundown: I had to rename my kitty Japurri Purrker since Jabari Parker was no longer on the Bucks. After struggling to come up with a new name for him, I learn that…

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Dennis Schröder Career High 41 Points Full Highlights (3/20/2018)

Dennis Schroder rummaged through his duffel bag, looking for the last bit of equipment he would need to face the Jazz. Where was it? Pushing aside various red-colored armbands, headbands, anklebands, and bodybands, he found what he was really looking for. The Magic Lederhosen, bestowed to him by none other than Detlef Schrempf himself. He…

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Dennis Schröder 27 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (3/2/2018)

Dënniß ßchrööder had some bad games in the month of February, including 2-of-16, 3-of-12, and 4-of-13 shooting performances. If he wants to average twenty points per game and get his name listed among all the greats that accomplished the same feat, he’ll have to ramp up his production for the last month of the season,…

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Dennis Schröder 25 Points Full Highlights (2/9/2018)

At what point do the Hawks sit Dënniß ßchrööder with a nonexistent injury? I’m thinking after the All-Star break. They’ll claim something like knee soreness, dress him up in the fanciest suit they can find, and have him sit soundlessly on the bench while Isaiah Taylor commands the tank straight into the dirt underneath Philips…

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Dennis Schröder 25 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2018)

20 shot attempts. 1 assist. Not an uncommon occurence in the NBA (Anthony Davis scored 48 without a single dime), but a strange one for Dënniß ßchrööder. I’m aware that he doesn’t really love passing the way some of the great PGs did, but only a single assist seems awfully low. There were recently rumors…

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