Elfrid Payton Triple Double 19 Points/10 Rebs/11 Asts Full Highlights (3/18/2019)

“Dear Elfrid, I suppose that when you saw that you had received a letter from the esteemed highlight creator known as DownToBuck that I would fawn all over you. Perhaps I would declare you the new mascot of my channel, the unofficial representative of all role-players league-wide. Your ego would like that, wouldn’t it? Not…

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Elfrid Payton Triple Double 16 Pts/13 Rebs/16 Asts Full Highlights (3/16/2019)

Elfrid “Dirfle” Payton is accustomed to being on losing teams, so my guess is that he’s not too bummed that the Pelicans lost this one in basically the dumbest way possible: Alvin Gentry getting a technical foul called himself (due to trying to call a non-existent timeout during an inbound) with one second left in…

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Elfrid Payton Triple Double 14 Pts/12 Rebs/16 Asts Full Highlights (3/15/2019)

Elfrid Payton has now recorded THREE straight triple-doubles for the Pelicans. I’m guessing that’s not any kind of NBA record both because Russell Westbrook exists and because the commentators didn’t lose their minds with joy at the exact moment that Payton scored his tenth point, but it’s still a Pelicans record. While the first triple-double…

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Elfrid Payton Triple Double 14 Pts/15 Rebs/11 Asts Full Highlights (3/12/2019)

Unlike Elfrid Payton’s triple-double last game, which was an ILLEGITIMATELY-GOTTEN triple-double, the triple-double he got in this game was totally legit. Before you get all indignant on me, please extend me the courtesy of allowing me to explain myself. Payton’s last triple-double only happened because he passed to Darius Miller with five seconds left and…

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Elfrid Payton Triple Double 15 Pts/10 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (3/10/2019)

I totally understand that Elfrid Payton was pretty much required to chop off that crazy hair thing he had been rocking for the previous few seasons. That thing was just gross. It gave me communicable diseases just by watching it on TV. Just thinking about that greasy, clumpy mass gives me a strong urge to…

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Elfrid Payton 25 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/2/2019)

You know, with that ridiculous hair precipice gone, it’s a lot easier for me to treat Elfrid Payton as a serious NBA player worthy of serious consideration and serious opinions. Back when he had that “poodle sucked through a vacuum” look going, I couldn’t take him seriously. Now my opinions of him, which were previously…

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Elfrid Payton Triple Double 10 Pts/10 Asts/10 Rebs Pelicans Debut Full Highlights (10/17/2018)

Elfrid Payton has taken the early lead in the 2018-19 triple-double race, notching one (1) triple-double in his Pelicans debut while the rest of the league’s players have a collective zero (0) triple-doubles. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, his triple-double is statistically the worst possible triple-double it is possible to achieve. There’s not really such…

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Elfrid Payton Triple Double 11 Pts/14 Asts/10 Rebs/1 Ejection Full Highlights (3/4/2018)

I don’t really know what Elfrid Payton did in that end-game skirmish to get ejected, but he must have done something, because he definitely wasn’t in the game or on the bench after that point. I keep rewatching the “fight” and I’m not seeing anything particularly egregious. Maybe he concealed an improvised shiv made from…

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Elfrid Payton Triple Double 13 Pts/12 Asts/11 Rebs Full Highlights (2/14/2018)

Anyone else getting some Steve Nash vibes from Elfrid Payton in a Suns jersey? No? Just me? Fine. Payton already has half the amount of triple-doubles in Phoenix that Nash did during his whole time there, so I can see why the comparison might fall a little flat. Also, Dragan Bender is no Amar’e. The…

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Elfrid Payton 29 Points Full Highlights (2/12/2018)

I can’t tell what the Magic are doing right now, I don’t know why they’d sell so low on Elfrid Payton, but that’s in the past now. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing, because Payton is now a whole continent away where they can’t hurt him anymore. For the time being, at least. Another thing…

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