Jeff Green 18 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2020)

Lames Hardon this game: a lame 6-of-19 from the field, a hardon-sucking 3-of-10 from three, 23 points, directly leading his team to an embarrassing loss to the Orlando Magic. Chucksell Statpadbrook this game: 9-of-19 from the field, 24 points, 8 turnovers, innumerable shots chucked, unstoppable padding of stats. Thaboner Sefoloshit this game: No stats except…

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Jeff Green 20 Points Full Highlights (3/7/2020)

OFFICIAL DTB APOLOGY: Two days ago, Jeff Green of the Houston Rockets scored seventeen points. I would have made a video, and, in fact, had plenty of time to make the video (there were only four games played across the league that night), but I must have missed his entry in the boxscores, or else…

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Robert Covington 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/7/2020)

Robert Covington was the first Rocket player to score any points in this game. Seven minutes after the opening tip, he hit a three-pointer to put the score at 3 to 20 in the Hornets’ favor. That seems extremely pathetic, and it is extremely pathetic, but who knows how long the scoreless spell would have…

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Danuel House 20 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (3/2/2020)

I just came up with a new nickname for Danuel House. Unfortunately, it comes three years too late to be relevant. However, such is my vanity that I am compelled to share this new nickname with the world so that I may be heaped with praise by those who recognize the great creative mind which…

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Robert Covington 20 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2020)

The NBA already has stats that are arbitrarily decided by scorekeepers. Assists are random as far as I can tell. Steals and blocks are also inconsistently tabulated across the league. Since these things are already in the boxscore, I see no reason to not include additional defensive stats in there as well. Things like “shots…

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Austin Rivers 23 Points Full Highlights (2/26/2020)

The positions of “first banana” and “second banana” on offense for the Rockets are well accounted for. James Harden and Russell Westbrook might switch the titles between them depending on who’s feeling hot, but there’s no debating that those are the two main dudes when it comes to scoring the ball. But then the question…

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Ben McLemore 17 Points Full Highlights (2/24/2020)

Total amount of dribbles in this video: a lot. Total amount of dribbles in this video performed by Ben McLemore: 1. I was hoping it was going to be zero dribbles, because that would be way more fun and notable. Zero dribbles, it’s like “does this dude even know that you can do something when…

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Robert Covington 20 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (2/20/2020)

As the trade deadline approached, Robert “Processed Cheese” Covington was widely viewed as one of the major pieces that would be available to the highest bidder. Minnesota had no need for a 3-and-D role-player since they were in absolute free-fall at the time of the deadline; meanwhile, every single contender (EVERY SINGLE ONE) would be…

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Jeff Green 17 Points Rockets Debut Full Highlights (2/20/2020)

It was just a matter of time before some good team swooped in and picked up Jeff Green. His play with the Jazz was not very inspiring (what even happened there?), but anyone who saw what he did with the ‘Zards last season knew that he could still score the ball at a decent level….

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Danuel House 17 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2020)

OFFICIAL WAYS TO PRONOUNCE “DANUEL” POWER RANKINGS 1. “Dan-You-Ell”. Since I am an expert at English-language pronunciation, you can take my word for it that this is how House’s fist name really should be pronounced if following the rules of the language. It’s like Manuel with a D. 2. “Dan-Ooh-Ell”. Pretty close to correct, but…

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