Iman Shumpert 21 Points Full Highlights (10/21/2017)

“Dear Diary, Today I showed coach Lue that I should be the starter and not that idiot J.R. or old-ass D-Wade. With those two scrubs on the court they let the Magic destroy them, and the Magic aren’t even a good team. If I had been out there and the beginning I would have played…

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Iman Shumpert 18 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2017)

It seems like it’s been awhile since I heard anything about Iman Shumpert, even though he’s a starter on a championship contender. Getting rid of his flattop must have really cost him some visibility in the NBA world. It’s a well-known fact that people care about players with unique (and noticeable) hairstyles more than their…

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Iman Shumpert 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/19/2017)

Iman Shumpert has seemingly rediscovered the long-range shooting touch that made him such an intriguing player in his second season; he’s now shooting 40% from three, and while he’s no longer young or intriguing, he at least can be a competent low-volume guy to complement the Cavs’ big three (LeBron, Kyrie, and James Jones). They…

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Iman Shumpert 23 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2016)

Am I a bad NBA fan for not having listened to any of Iman Shumpert’s rap output? I mean, I listened to “What the Kidd Did”, penned by Jason Kidd, and it was, you know, not really all that good, even by my relatively undemanding standards of rap as a genre. Not blaming Kidd here,…

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Iman Shumpert 22 Points Full Highlights (5/4/2015)

Iman Shumpert’s flattop is looking a little healthier than it was earlier in the season. Not as voluminous, but definitely sturdier. It used to resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa, veering rakishly at an angle due to its own immensity. Or, alternatively, looking like someone took a Dumpert on his head. Now it’s a classy…

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Iman Shumpert 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/10/2014)

Iman Shumpert sure chose a good time to start being a good offensive player, right as the rest of his team is imploding. Even the Zen Master himself cannot make JR Smith learn the triangle. The Knicks might be last in the league in BSPT (Bright Spots per Team, my new advanced stat for measuring…

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Iman Shumpert 19 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/8/2014)

Very little is going right for the Knicks this season. They are 2-5, have the slowest pace in the league, and Carmelo’s new nickname is “Slumpelo”. Calderon and Bargnani are both injured and euro. Amar’e still sees fire extinguishers in his sleep. The only bright spot, as far as I can tell, is that Iman…

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Iman Shumpert 19 Points Full Highlights (11/4/2014)

If someone who has watched the Knicks more than I have could let me know how the triangle offense is working out, that would be cool. My impression is that it’s not working well at all right now, but keep in mind that I think Phil Jackson is super overrated and Derek Fisher is not…

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Iman Shumpert 15 Points Full Highlights (11/2/2014)

Iman Shumpert’s flattop is looking a little worse for wear. It seems like there’s a part of it missing in the back. Did he sleep on it funny for six months in a row? A basketball fan should never pay attention to the style choices of NBA players, but I can’t help but wonder if…

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Iman Shumpert Career High 27 Points/1 Game Winner Full Highlights (1/2/2014)

Iman Shumpert? More like Iman Dumpert. Because all he has done this year is take a huge dump on the hopes of Knicks fans. He’s been in a shooting slump that’s lasted the whole year up until tonight, and his vaunted defensive acumen has been victimized by his lack of effort. Is he the reason…

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