Isaiah “The Canaanite”/”The Canaanball” Canaan seems to think that very highly of his ability to shoot threes, because he was just pulling up from behind the long line like it was nothing. Have we checked Canaan’s person to see if he is in possession of a certain golden amulet forged in the fires underneath Oracle…
Read MoreTag: Isaiah Canaan
Isaiah Canaan 19 Points Full Highlights (11/2/2018)
Now seems like a good time to remind people that Isaiah Canaan was 15th in total made three-pointers in the 2015-16 season. He would’ve been higher, but he sat out the last few as the 76ers were in the deepest throes of tanking. To reiterate: Canaan, who is just a guy, was one of the…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 16 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/19/2018)
If Isaiah “The Canaanball” Canaan (get it? because he’s round and fat like a cannonball?) keeps this up, he’ll finish the season shooting over forty percent from the field, something he has never done in his career. It might seem like I’m obsessed with players shooting over 40% since I bring it up all the…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 15 Points/Career High 9 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
Isaiah Canaan must have seen what happened to Mike James and decided he had to reinvent his game if he wanted to stick on the team. Remember, Canaan has never, ever, at any point in his career, EVER been a passer. He has strictly been a three-point shooter trapped in a fat, short body. Like…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 17 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/18/2017)
Isaiah Canaan isn’t wasting any time asserting his will with the Phoenix Suns. He’s not waiting around, feeling things out. He’s going out there and doing it. At the end of this one, he runs right up next to Mike James with a few seconds left on the shot clock in a close game, basically…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 15 Points/7 Assists Suns Debut Full Highlights (12/16/2017)
With the way the NBA is now, I knew Isaiah Canaan wouldn’t be out of a job for long. Remember, or if you’re not an obsessive stat-head like me, learn for the first time, that he was 15th in the league in total threes made in the 2015-16 season. Only 14 players canned more triples…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 15 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (10/31/2016)
I made highlights of this performance because I fully believed that six assists would be Isaiah Canaan’s career-high in that category. How foolish of me to assume that a midget shooting guard like the Canaan-Ball (because he’s ball-shaped from being fat ROFL) wouldn’t be able to rack up a larger amount of assists when unwisely…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 24 Points Full Highlights (4/2/2016)
It says something about the state of three-point shooting in the NBA when Isaiah Canaan has made the 10th most triples this season out of all players. Like, everyone is talking about how much the game has changed, how all these deep shots are being attempted, pace and space, OMG corner three, blah blah blah,…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/16/2015)
Watching this game makes me think that Isaiah Canaan is like a Stephen Curry without the handles, playmaking ability, or MVP-ness. So basically just Curry’s three point shooting and nothing else. In this game, Canaan repeatedly makes the Hawks suck on his Canaan Balls by making a wide variety of three-point shots: deep threes, fading…
Read MoreIsaiah Canaan 23 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2015)
The Sixers have a bit of duality going on at the point guard position. Their two viable starters are polar opposites: Isaiah Canaan: Can score. Can’t pass. Is black. T.J. McConnell: Can’t score. Can pass. Is white. If you combined those two, you would get a mulatto Chris Paul. Since the 76ers are so bad,…
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