Jae Crowder 18 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2018)

Who else is ready for the relentless praise that Jae Crowder will get during the playoffs for being a “steadying veteran presence” for the Jazz? If he even has one good game, we’ll hear all about how he replaced the immature, not-quite-ready-for-the-big-time Rodney Hood with the gritty, no-nonsense, defense-first Crowder. I can already hear it…

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Jae Crowder 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (3/9/2018)

Something wasn’t working out with Jae Crowder in Cleveland. I don’t know what it was, because my basketball-analysis capability is roughly equivalent to that of a well-trained horse, but it couldn’t be denied: Crowder and the Celtics weren’t on the same page. Stats-wise, percentages-wise, he’s not actually doing better on the Jazz. Surprising, I know….

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Jae Crowder 15 Points Jazz Debut Full Highlights (2/11/2018)

Jae Crowder is probably glad to get out of Cleveland. Nobody really liked him there. LeBron probably yelled at him all the time and the fans obviously thought he was trash (because he kinda was). Now he gets a fresh start in a small market where everybody’s polite. Even if continues to play like trash…

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Jae Crowder 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (5/17/2017)

If it turns out that Jae Crowder’s dreadlocks are indeed shorter than they were during the regular season, which the photographic and videographic evidence clearly indicates, then I officially demand a refund. I want my money back. I didn’t pay the big bucks so I could watch inferior dreadlocks on display. Crowder’s are still among…

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Jae Crowder 24 Points Full Highlights (4/6/2017)

Last night I had a dream that I lived in a house made entirely out of Jae Crowder’s dreadlocks. I probably ate too many cheesy-flavor potato chips before bed or something, but that doesn’t matter. I would gorge on chips every night of the week if it meant I got to spend five hours of…

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Jae Crowder 24 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)

If there was some sort of NBA-related MMA venture, I bet Jae Crowder would do pretty well. I mean, since it was NBA-related, there wouldn’t be any actual fights, just a bunch of dudes standing around and posturing, but Crowder would be really good at that. There is an art to looking so much like…

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Jae Crowder 23 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2017)

OFFICIAL JAE CROWDER HAIR STATUS: Jae Crowder’s hair looks just as soft and cuddly as ever. Its status as the pillowiest and lushest set of dreadlocks in the league remains unchallenged. There is no hair softer in the organization. It’s like a pile of furry black snakes on his head, but instead of venom, they’re…

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Jae Crowder 21 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2017)

Jae Crowder tried his best to push his team to victory against the Knicks, but all the individual heroics in the world aren’t going to help you when you don’t get any help from your teammates. Let’s look at the most flagrant offenders: Al Horford, 2-of-14, five points. Forget about his ten assists for a…

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Jae Crowder 20 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2017)

An enterprising soul should start an YouTube channel called “NBA Fight Zone” or “Heaviest NBA Slamdowns” or something, and show nothing but all the “fights” that occur in the NBA. The NBA used to be really stingy about allowing vids of famous altercations to be disseminated (I’m still recovering from that virus I got trying…

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