Jeff Teague 32 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (12/6/2019)

I don’t want to make Jeff Teague highlights, no one wants to watch Jeff Teague highlights, yet the universe has cosmically decided that Jeff Teague highlights are to exist and there is nothing any mortal can do about it. Do you ever feel like you are being endlessly buffeted to and fro by the winds…

Read More

Jeff Teague 21 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2019)

“Dear Jeff, Let me cut right to the chase. Your mere existence is a terrible burden on me. There is nothing I dread more than looking at the box-score of a game and seeing your name there. And when my eyes scan across the row to see double-digit assists, or a scoring total in the…

Read More

Jeff Teague 20 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2019)

I have previously implied (or just straight-up stated) that the only reason Jeff Teague gets tons of assists this year is because he gets to play with the assist sponge known as Karl-Anthony Towns. It was a fair statement to make, because every time Teague was getting big assist games, Towns was right there, making…

Read More

Jeff Teague 16 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (3/5/2019)

Jeff Teague is averaging 8.1 assists per game. If he hadn’t missed so many games this season, thus disqualifying him from the leaderboards, that would be good for third in the league. And heck, I think 39 games is enough, so let’s just say it: Teague is fourth in the league in assists per game…

Read More

Jeff Teague 27 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (2/13/2019)

It looks like, for the time being, Jerryd Bayless is done ruining my life. His line in this game: 0 points (that’s what happens when you don’t take a shot) and 1 assist in 11 minutes. At least one of my prayers to all the various deities I was praying to was answered, if not…

Read More

Jeff Teague 23 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2019)

A lot of very mean Timberwolves fans have a lot of very mean things to say about Jeff Teague. “He’s not as good as his brother”, “His All-Star selection was undeserved”, “I’d rather have Aaron Brooks”, “He gets help from the league in the form of spurious assists”. I haven’t actually seen any Minnesota fan…

Read More

Jeff Teague 3 Points/18 Assists Full Highlights (12/5/2018)

Jeff Teague’s 18 assists is the most by any player so far this season. He’s not even tied with anybody, he’s just straight up the best single-game assister in the NBA right now. But with any performance with this many dimes, some of them are going to be a little iffy. Let’s take a look…

Read More

Jeff Teague 24 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/12/2018)

Jeff Teague could hardly contain the poeticism bursting from within him. Hastily entering his apartment, he didn’t even bother to turn on the lights before walking briskly to his desk. Once there, he lit the two candles which rested upon the flat wood surface, granting him just enough illumination to begin the task at hand….

Read More

Jeff Teague 27 Points Full Highlights (10/17/2018)

I’m just going to go ahead and guess that Jeff Teague’s 27-point performance against the Spurs has not yet been uploaded by any other highlight channel. In an age of NBA highlights where vids are available as soon as the game is over from multiple sources, no one gives a whit about Jeff Teague. Hold…

Read More

Jeff Teague 25 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/26/2018)

I was extremely surprised to see that Marquis Teague signed a 10-day contract with the Grizzlies. Surprised, and impressed. I saw how much he sucked in his first stint, and it was the kind of suckage that usually results in a permanent vacation from the NBA. So good on him for apparently doing so good…

Read More