Jeff Teague 18 Points/6 Assists/2 Dunks Full Highlights (2/3/2020)

Jeff Teague is back to where it all started: Atlanta, the place where he was voted an All-Star that one year because the Hawks were winning so many god-damn games and then they got swept by LeBron anyway. Am I remembering that right? Maybe they took one game off LeBron, but I don’t think so….

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Jeff Teague 22 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/13/2019)

You know what would be way more interesting and entertaining then a Jeff Teague highlight video where he scores 22 points by way of ten free throws? A Marquis Teague highlight video. Any kind of Marquis Teague highlight video at all. “Marquis Teague 10 Points/2 Assists/1 Butt-Scratch Full Highlights” would be the kind of video…

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Jeff Teague 32 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/11/2019)

The universe itself is mocking me. I can hear its shrill laughter echoing in the cold gulfs between the stars. Between laughs, it is saying “Jeff Teague had another good game, DownToBuck, and you have to make a highlight video for it even though no conscious being in the entire vastity of my existence wants…

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Jeff Teague 32 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (12/6/2019)

I don’t want to make Jeff Teague highlights, no one wants to watch Jeff Teague highlights, yet the universe has cosmically decided that Jeff Teague highlights are to exist and there is nothing any mortal can do about it. Do you ever feel like you are being endlessly buffeted to and fro by the winds…

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Jeff Teague 21 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2019)

“Dear Jeff, Let me cut right to the chase. Your mere existence is a terrible burden on me. There is nothing I dread more than looking at the box-score of a game and seeing your name there. And when my eyes scan across the row to see double-digit assists, or a scoring total in the…

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Jeff Teague 20 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2019)

I have previously implied (or just straight-up stated) that the only reason Jeff Teague gets tons of assists this year is because he gets to play with the assist sponge known as Karl-Anthony Towns. It was a fair statement to make, because every time Teague was getting big assist games, Towns was right there, making…

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Jeff Teague 16 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (3/5/2019)

Jeff Teague is averaging 8.1 assists per game. If he hadn’t missed so many games this season, thus disqualifying him from the leaderboards, that would be good for third in the league. And heck, I think 39 games is enough, so let’s just say it: Teague is fourth in the league in assists per game…

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Jeff Teague 27 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (2/13/2019)

It looks like, for the time being, Jerryd Bayless is done ruining my life. His line in this game: 0 points (that’s what happens when you don’t take a shot) and 1 assist in 11 minutes. At least one of my prayers to all the various deities I was praying to was answered, if not…

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Jeff Teague 23 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2019)

A lot of very mean Timberwolves fans have a lot of very mean things to say about Jeff Teague. “He’s not as good as his brother”, “His All-Star selection was undeserved”, “I’d rather have Aaron Brooks”, “He gets help from the league in the form of spurious assists”. I haven’t actually seen any Minnesota fan…

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Jeff Teague 3 Points/18 Assists Full Highlights (12/5/2018)

Jeff Teague’s 18 assists is the most by any player so far this season. He’s not even tied with anybody, he’s just straight up the best single-game assister in the NBA right now. But with any performance with this many dimes, some of them are going to be a little iffy. Let’s take a look…

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