Jonas Valanciunas 25 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)

Jonas Valanciunas’ minutes are the lowest they’ve ever been this year, and at the same time, the Raptors as a team are better than they’ve ever been. Also Dwane Casey might win coach of the year even though it’s been demonstrated for many, many years that he’s not a good coach at all. Have all…

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Jonas Valanciunas 26 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2018)

I’m really digging Jonas Valanciunas’ beard this season. It looks good. Lots of volume, good shaping. Not one of those “well I’m in my mid-twenties now so I guess I’ll try one out” things that’s all patchy and pubey (Kelly Olynyk I’m CALLING YOU OUT). It looks like head hair except it’s on the bottom…

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Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (2/11/2018)

How is Lithuania doing in the Winter Olympics? Are they winning? Do they usually win? I hope they’re winning, if only to make Jonas Valanciunas happy. I admit, I’m paying exactly zero attention to the festivities this year, because I don’t think Ice Basketball is a sport yet, but I just thought I’d ask. Lithuania…

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Jonas Valanciunas 28 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (1/26/2018)

Are these new Toronto Raptors alternate jerseys Drake-inspired? Because I was thinking about how sweet they look (black and gold is fiyaaaaa), but then I remembered that Drake or one of his brands or whatever might have something to do with them, and if they have anything to do with Drake, I don’t want them….

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Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2018)

The 20 and 10 game. The hallmark of a good performance by a center in the NBA. The best among them average that during a whole season. Jonas Valanciunas does not get the opportunity to average that much. Unless you use the 20 minutes he plays per night and the 10 fingers Dwane Casey uses…

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Jonas Valanciunas 20 Points/1 Quarter Full Highlights (1/5/2018)

Making this video caused me severe anguish. I already watched Jonas Valanciunas dominate the Bucks’ collection of scrubigs (that’s scrub bigs for you foreigners out there) to the tune of 20 points in one frickin’ quarter. It was bad live, but it was even worse having to watch it closely enough to edit together this…

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Jonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2017)

I don’t get it. Certain advanced stats paint Jonas Valanciunas to be an absolute beast. He averages 18/13 per 36 minutes, meaning he could give you an easy 15/10 on great percentages if he was played the minutes that a starting center usually receives. His win-shares are consistently in the “sick” range. But the big…

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Jonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (10/19/2017)

In a way, Jonas Valanciunas performance tonight was by far the most impressive one on the team, even more than the raw point totals indicate. All his other teammates were matched up against role-players who aren’t very successful as NBA roster material. But Valanciunas was matched up against Robin Lopez, who is definitely NBA-caliber, and…

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Jonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2017)

Thon Maker isn’t around to sorta kinda expose Jonas Valanciunas’ weaknesses anymore, so in theory he should be good to get reinserted into the starting lineup for the Raptors. Ignore the first game of this series, where he actually did get the start and was ignored just like always. As we saw tonight, a properly…

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Jonas Valanciunas 19 Points Full Highlights (4/5/2017)

“Dear Diary, I really hate Jonas Valanciunas. Every time I think I’ve finally done it, every time I think I’ve successfully ruined his career, he comes in and has one of his so-called “good games” that sets back all my progress. I am so tired of looking at that guy’s dumb beard and stupid face…

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