Jonas Valanciunas 24 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2018)

Jonas Valanciunas’ minutes per game have gone down ever since his second year in the league. That’s the bad news. The good news is, his points per game have stayed about the same. Obviously, that means he’s getting better at scoring as he adds more years to his resume. And he’s being rewarded for his…

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Jonas Valanciunas 26 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2018)

Am I seeing things or did Jonas Valanciunas just take the hugest dump EVER right on Joel Embiid’s face? The full title for this vid should be “Jonas Valanciunas 26 Points/1 Mondo Lithuanian DUMP Full Highlights (12/5/2018)”, just to give people a more accurate idea of what they’re getting into before clicking on this vid….

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Jonas Valanciunas 24 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2018)

Kyle Lowry had 17 assists tonight, and by my unofficial count, 16 of them went to Jonas Valanciunas, and one of them went to Nick Nurse. I think a fruit basket or something is in order, because Valanciunas graciously let Lowry have one of the best passing games of his career. Don’t ask me why…

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Jonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2018)

In a theoretical playoff matchup with Philly, I really like Jonas Valanciunas’ theoretical ability to deal with Joel Embiid’s theoretical post game. He’s got a beeficity to him that a lot of centers these days don’t have. Sure, guarding him on the perimeter is a whole different story, but who even cares if Embiid splashes…

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Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (5/1/2018)

“Dear Diary, I hate Jonas Valanciunas so god damn much. So vehement is my hate for him that, this year, I limited him to 22 minutes per game, the lowest of his undistinguished and pathetic career. If it were up to me, I would trade him back to Lithuania so that I never have to…

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Jonas Valanciunas 25 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)

Jonas Valanciunas’ minutes are the lowest they’ve ever been this year, and at the same time, the Raptors as a team are better than they’ve ever been. Also Dwane Casey might win coach of the year even though it’s been demonstrated for many, many years that he’s not a good coach at all. Have all…

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Jonas Valanciunas 26 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2018)

I’m really digging Jonas Valanciunas’ beard this season. It looks good. Lots of volume, good shaping. Not one of those “well I’m in my mid-twenties now so I guess I’ll try one out” things that’s all patchy and pubey (Kelly Olynyk I’m CALLING YOU OUT). It looks like head hair except it’s on the bottom…

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Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (2/11/2018)

How is Lithuania doing in the Winter Olympics? Are they winning? Do they usually win? I hope they’re winning, if only to make Jonas Valanciunas happy. I admit, I’m paying exactly zero attention to the festivities this year, because I don’t think Ice Basketball is a sport yet, but I just thought I’d ask. Lithuania…

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Jonas Valanciunas 28 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (1/26/2018)

Are these new Toronto Raptors alternate jerseys Drake-inspired? Because I was thinking about how sweet they look (black and gold is fiyaaaaa), but then I remembered that Drake or one of his brands or whatever might have something to do with them, and if they have anything to do with Drake, I don’t want them….

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Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2018)

The 20 and 10 game. The hallmark of a good performance by a center in the NBA. The best among them average that during a whole season. Jonas Valanciunas does not get the opportunity to average that much. Unless you use the 20 minutes he plays per night and the 10 fingers Dwane Casey uses…

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