Jonathon Simmons 20 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2017)

It’s been a while since I brought you an episode of “DTB’s Honesty Hour,” where I sit in front of my viewership and only tell true things while not telling any false things, but I figured now would be a good time to produce another episode since I’m in a truthful mood right now. Plus,…

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Jonathon Simmons Career High 27 Points Full Highlights (10/29/2017)

True title of this video: “Jonathon Simmons Career High 27*** Points Full Highlights”. Notice those asterisks? While it’s true that Simmons did score 27 points tonight, I feel it is in the best interests of the viewing public to adorn his performance with three asterisks. Otherwise, people think that he well and truly earned his…

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Jonathon Simmons 17 Points Full Highlights (10/27/2017)

Another night, another revenge game. The Spurs rudely kicked Jonathon Simmons to the curb, Popovich surely thinking, in his hubris, that Simmons wasn’t a major part of the Spurs’ success last season. “I am the one that makes this team great!” he yells. “Me and me alone! I can win with any player, even Kyle…

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Jonathon Simmons 19 Points Full Highlights (10/21/2017)

The Magic have been cycling through lineups of uninspiring role-players for a couple years now. Every year, it seems like they could maybe be good, but every year, they’re not. The Detroit Pistons model of winning a chip was a lofty goal, but a Atlanta Hawks-style consistent playoff team shouldn’t have been to hard, right?…

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Jonathon Simmons 22 Points Full Highlights (5/16/2017)

Jonathon Simmons was on his knees next to his hotel bed, eyes closed and hands pressed together in prayer. “Please Lord, I don’t know what the purpose of these trials are, but give me guidance in this time of doubt,” he mumbled to the empty room. All of a sudden, as in response to this…

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Jonathon Simmons 18 Points Full Highlights (5/11/2017)

Jonathon Simmons: Better than James Harden? Let’s take a look at the facts: POINTS: Simmons scored 18 points in this game. Harden scored 10 (LOL [lots of laughs]). ADVANTAGE: Simmons DEFENSE: Simmons plays defense. Harden doesn’t. ADVANTAGE: Simmons PASSING: Simmons had four assists. Harden had seven. But Harden’s assists were just a product of him…

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Jonathon Simmons 17 Points Full Highlights (5/7/2017)

Jonathon Simmons highlight videos just aren’t the same if they don’t feature the San Antonio commentators. The excitement of Simmons’ drives to the hoop is made less exciting by the absence of that one guy yelling “OH MAMA…the JUICE!!!!” while the other guy chuckles uncontrollably like he smoked a huge doobie before the game. I…

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Jonathon Simmons 17 Points Full Highlights (4/2/2017)

Every time I see Jonathon Simmons on the court it reminds of how we were all robbed of a whole year of exciting action from Ben Simmons. I can’t help it. Seeing the name “Simmons” on the back of a jersey, it doesn’t even matter what color, I get all riled up. Making this vid…

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Jonathon Simmons 18 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2017)

Frankly, I would reserve the nickname “The Juice” for a player who is obviously using steroids. It’s like calling a player “The ‘Roid” or “Gym Candy”. I don’t know what it refers to in Simmons’ case since it doesn’t seem to me like he’s using steroids, but whatever it’s a reference to (perhaps his love…

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Jonathon Simmons 19 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2016)

This is the first time in my nearly half-decade of highlight making that I have heard the word “naughty” used to reference a slam dunk. And I sincerely hope it is the last. “Naughty” is a word that has no place being uttered inside a place of basketball. That’s a word reserved for two things:…

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