Kelly Oubre 24 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2019)

Devin Booker walked up to Kelly Oubre’s locker and pointed at the terrarium that was on the shelf. “You keeping pets in here now, too?” Kelly Oubre sighed. “Devin, just when I think that you could not get any more ignorant, a statement leaves your mouth whose complete inanity surpasses even my lowest expectations for…

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Kelly Oubre Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2019)

“Uh, Kelly, what are you doing out here? Coach says you gotta get your butt back to practice.” Kelly Oubre looked up with annoyance at Devin Booker, who was apparently the teammate chosen to come find him after he had announced that he needed a “bathroom break” fifteen minutes into practice. “I’m busy,” he said,…

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Kelly Oubre Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2019)

My first thought when I saw that Kelly Oubre had 26 points was “Man, ‘Zards fans are gonna be pissed that Oubre got traded for being bumsauce and then it turned out he was capable of games like this the entire time.” And that thought made me happy because the concept of an entire fanbase…

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Kelly Oubre 20 Points Full Highlights (12/22/2018)

Kelly Oubre sat in his locker, not moving, just staring intensely at the handmade doll which he held in his hands. “Yo Kelly, playing with dolls?” came the joking voice of Devin Booker. Kelly looked up and gave his new Suns teammate a harsh glare. “It might indeed by a doll, Devin, but I am…

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Kelly Oubre 23 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2018)

Kelly Oubre sat hunched, facing in towards his locker. In front of him were a multitude of bright blue plastic components which he was carefully assembling into a finished product. The hustle and bustle of the locker room behind him was ignored entirely. Nothing could distract him. Nothing, that is, except an unexpected hand on…

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Kelly Oubre 21 Points/5 Threes/3 Blocks Full Highlights (12/3/2018)

We take a break from our regularly scheduled “Kelly Oubre hates Klay Thompson” storyline to present a fun fact: the Wizards, widely mocked as one of the worst teams in the league, are on a two-game winning streak! Last time I checked, bad teams don’t go on winning streams because they don’t win games, so…

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Kelly Oubre 22 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2018)

On the team bus that was driving the team back to their hotel, Austin Rivers couldn’t help but notice that something interesting was up on Kelly Oubre’s laptop screen. “What’s that?” he asked. Kelly didn’t look up from his intense, focused work. “CAD software.” “CAD?” Kelly rolled his eyes. “Computer-Aided Design. Duh.” “Looks complicated,” Austin…

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Kelly Oubre 19 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2018)

Did anyone let the Wizards commentators know that Kelly Oubre’s half-court buzzer beater at the end of the third quarter didn’t count? Probably not. They sounded so happy, like it was the first good thing to happen to their team all season (it pretty much was), why would you ruin that happiness with facts? That…

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Kelly Oubre 19 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2018)

Kelly Oubre sat on the floor of the locker room, working on his project with studious concentration. Most of his teammates were ignoring him, too upset about a close loss to the Magic to do anything but change their clothes in silence. However, Austin Rivers couldn’t help but walk over to get a closer look….

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Kelly Oubre 22 Points Full Highlights (10/26/2018)

Kelly Oubre was sitting in his locker, hunched over a notebook. The pen in his hand scribbled furiously, writing notes, then crossing them out and writing new ones over the top. Dwight Howard happened to walk by. “Hey, what’s that?” he asked. “Notes for your next novel?” Shaking his head, Kelly didn’t even look up….

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