Kelly Oubre 18 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2017)

“Hey John, you’re friends with a lot of the league, right?” Kelly Oubre asked his teammate John Wall as they changed into their street clothes. “Sort of,” John answered suspiciously, giving a sidelong glance to Kelly. “Why you asking?” “Oh, no reason,” Kelly replied. He paused for a bit, tying the laces on his stylish…

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Kelly Oubre 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/3/2017)

“WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THAT ASSHOLE?” Kelly Oubre exclaimed as he entered the visitor’s locker room of Capital One Arena. “I’M GONNA PUNCH HIS GOD DAMN FACE IN!” The group of Cavaliers players, in varying states of undress, exchanged confused looks as Kelly raged around the room, looking behind furniture and around corners for…

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Kelly Oubre 19 Points Full Highlights (10/27/2017)

“Kelly, I really wish you wouldn’t do that,” Jason Smith said with annoyance as he and Kelly Oubre enjoyed drinks in a bay area bar. Kelly mildly looked around at the group of five women who were stroking his bare arms and cooing at him. “It’s not like I asked them to do this,” he…

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Kelly Oubre 16 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2017)

Will Kelly Oubre ever score over 20 points? With the amount of field goals he gets to attempt, the answer is “not any time soon”. Playing next to high-usage players like John Wall and Bradley Beal can be good for young players since it means they don’t have to shoot too many shots, but it…

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Kelly Oubre 18 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2017)

Kelly Oubre is being brought along slowly in the NBA. That’s probably a good thing, given how often we see rookies/young players crash and burn when given too much responsibility too early. He’s the backup small forward by default in Washington despite looking a little skinny for the position, probably because the Wizards have about…

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Kelly Oubre 17 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2017)

The neutral NBA fan in me enjoys seeing Kelly Oubre Jr. succeed. The Bucks fan in me is screaming “why do scrubs always go off on us?????????”. This is the second time Oubre has used the Bucks as his own personal cumrag. The first was earlier this year, when he scored a career-high 19 in…

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Kelly Oubre 15 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (12/14/2016)

This is my final warning to NBA broadcasters everywhere. In fact, this could be considered DTB’S OFFICIAL FINAL WARNING: if you don’t start showing timely replays of every sick whamjam that takes place in the games that you broadcast, I’m going to sue you. That’s right, bitches. We’re talking lawsuits here. In what other industry…

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Kelly Oubre Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2016)

Attention females: Kelly Oubre Jr. isn’t even that good looking. He only looks good because, when he’s on the bench, he gets to sit between Andrew Nicholson who looks like a black smurf and Jason Smith who is totally balding. That’s the only reason. Take him out of his normal NBA habitat, and he becomes…

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Kelly Oubre 14 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (4/11/2016)

Time for the Wizards to blow it up. They can keep John Wall, Kelly Oubre, and Jarell Eddie. And that’s it. Everyone else, trade those bums for picks or whatever else you can get. Fire Wittman, tell Grunfeld to clear out his office and then burn his office to the ground with him still clearing…

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Kelly Oubre 18 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/16/2015)

The Wizards aren’t going to make the playoffs. That dream is dead, I don’t care how early it is in the season. Even if they managed to improve enough to snag the 8th seed or whatever, they’ll still get stomped by the Cavs. I’m not advocating tanking or anything. I’m just saying, why not put…

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