DeAndre Jordan 12 Points/6 Dunks Full Highlights (11/20/2014)

Consider this to be a sneak preview of my “DeAndre Jordan All 279 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-15 Season Dunkilation)” video, which will hopefully be coming towards your network interface card somewhere around June. There is nothing here but dunks. There are no free-throws (DeAndre missed the two that he tried). There are no layups (DeAndre…

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Jordan Farmar 13 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/19/2014)

I should never have done these highlights. I knew what I was getting into, but in my desire to please my rabid subscriber-base I disregarded my misgivings. Now, whenever I close my eyes, I see Jordan Farmar’s gigantic Dumbo ears flapping above me. I can even hear them. Two huge auditory organs, forever tormenting me…

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Spencer Hawes 17 Points Full Highlights (11/2/2014)

Was it horrible-facial-hair day for the Clippers today? Farmar and Griffin were rocking pedo-staches and Hawes and Jordan had the same nightmarish goatee-trimmed-so-the-stache-looks-like-it-goes-all-the-way-down thing going on. Basketball is serious business, guys. If you’re not going to take your facial hair seriously, what does that say about your other endeavors? You might think that I’m just…

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DeAndre Jordan All 245 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)

“It’s been quiet around here lately,” commented Urgorx 77-Q, gazing out the expansive windows of the main deck with boredom. “Kronbub, are you sure that HQ hasn’t assigned as any more planets to initiate the sow/reap process on?” Kronbub 32-C, sitting at the controls of the spaceship, waved his anterior cilia to demonstrate similar levels…

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Blake Griffin All 176 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)

“If I ever upload Blake Griffin highlights I encourage you to unsubscribe.” -DownToBuck, 4-20-2014 They say the fall of the Roman Empire was precipitated by the death of Theodosius I and the subsequent sacking of Rome by the Visigoths. These events, combined with the ever-growing malaise of the population, various plagues, the ceding of defense…

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Matt Barnes 16 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (5/13/2014)

In the future, when we have robot refs (running on open-source software that anybody can audit), we will enjoy peace of mind knowing that every NBA game is officiated fairly and without bias. But something will be lost: the ability to make really mad posts about reffing on the internet. There is a whole subclass…

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Jamal Crawford 17 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2014)

The more I watch Jamal Crawford play, the more I want to hit him with my fists. He has a dumb-looking face. It’s kind of droopy and he has puffy cheeks that would make perfect punching bags. He’s also skinny enough that I feel like I could probably take him a fight. I’m not an…

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J.J. Redick 20 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2014)

It was big news when it was revealed that J.J. Redick made his ex-girlfriend sign an abortion contract. However, in typical fashion, the lamestream media failed to get to the bottom of the story. Luckily for fans of basketball gossip, DownToBuck was on the case. I now present my findings; a sampling of some of…

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Jamal Crawford 19 Points Full Highlights (4/29/2014)

I have written harsh word for Jamal Crawford in the past. And some of my criticisms are fair: for example, he is an absolute unabashed chucker with no concept of shot selection or range. For another, he definitely looks like he needs some protein shakes or something. All that cardio is no excuse for those…

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Hedo Turkoglu 13 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2014)

So the ‘roids didn’t work. Turkoglu’s arms are as soft-looking as ever and he probably has moobs. But we have learned a valuable lesson: huge, juiced-up muscles are not strictly necessary when all you do is shoot jumpers for fifteen minutes during blowouts. Sure, being able to showcase ill-gotten gains would certainly help in matters…

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