DeAndre Jordan All 245 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)

“It’s been quiet around here lately,” commented Urgorx 77-Q, gazing out the expansive windows of the main deck with boredom. “Kronbub, are you sure that HQ hasn’t assigned as any more planets to initiate the sow/reap process on?” Kronbub 32-C, sitting at the controls of the spaceship, waved his anterior cilia to demonstrate similar levels…

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Blake Griffin All 176 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)

“If I ever upload Blake Griffin highlights I encourage you to unsubscribe.” -DownToBuck, 4-20-2014 They say the fall of the Roman Empire was precipitated by the death of Theodosius I and the subsequent sacking of Rome by the Visigoths. These events, combined with the ever-growing malaise of the population, various plagues, the ceding of defense…

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Matt Barnes 16 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (5/13/2014)

In the future, when we have robot refs (running on open-source software that anybody can audit), we will enjoy peace of mind knowing that every NBA game is officiated fairly and without bias. But something will be lost: the ability to make really mad posts about reffing on the internet. There is a whole subclass…

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Jamal Crawford 17 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2014)

The more I watch Jamal Crawford play, the more I want to hit him with my fists. He has a dumb-looking face. It’s kind of droopy and he has puffy cheeks that would make perfect punching bags. He’s also skinny enough that I feel like I could probably take him a fight. I’m not an…

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J.J. Redick 20 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2014)

It was big news when it was revealed that J.J. Redick made his ex-girlfriend sign an abortion contract. However, in typical fashion, the lamestream media failed to get to the bottom of the story. Luckily for fans of basketball gossip, DownToBuck was on the case. I now present my findings; a sampling of some of…

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Jamal Crawford 19 Points Full Highlights (4/29/2014)

I have written harsh word for Jamal Crawford in the past. And some of my criticisms are fair: for example, he is an absolute unabashed chucker with no concept of shot selection or range. For another, he definitely looks like he needs some protein shakes or something. All that cardio is no excuse for those…

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Hedo Turkoglu 13 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2014)

So the ‘roids didn’t work. Turkoglu’s arms are as soft-looking as ever and he probably has moobs. But we have learned a valuable lesson: huge, juiced-up muscles are not strictly necessary when all you do is shoot jumpers for fifteen minutes during blowouts. Sure, being able to showcase ill-gotten gains would certainly help in matters…

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JJ Redick 22 Points Full Highlights (4/19/2014)

Playoff times are not DownToBuck’s favorite times. Yeah, the intensity and stuff is pretty cool. And seeing teams match up, making adjustments against each other, for an entire series. But the rotations that were loosening up leading up to the end of the year are suddenly constricted, leading to tons of Blake Griffin and Chris…

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DeAndre Jordan 21 Points/15 Rebounds/6 Dunks Full Highlights (4/3/2014)

The crew were gathered in the main deck, eagerly awaiting the transmission to the holo-projector. Holoperator Urgorx 77-Q fiddled with the equipment. Kronbub 32-C, the pilot of the craft, vibrated his caudal membranes in a show of impatience. “I don’t get why the humans don’t adhere to their posted start times. The contest was supposed…

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Reggie Bullock Career High 14 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2014)

Reggie Bullock belatedly celebrated Blake Griffin’s birthday with the rest of the team in Blake’s lavishly-appointed living room. Eating a slice of cake, he wondered if his teammates even knew that his own birthday fell on the same day. But even if they did, why would they care? He was just a rookie. He should…

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