Cole Aldrich 19 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2016)

That’s it. DeAndre Jordan’s 360-game streak ends thanks to a made-up non-disease called “pneumonia”. I just looked it up and it doesn’t exist. There’s probably some deeper conspiracy going on here, but honestly, I got tired of doing investigative reporting after I found out some stuff about Andrea Bargnani and pasta smuggling rings. Don’t ask….

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Austin Rivers 26 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2016)

I got all excited when I saw Austin River’s stats for tonight, because, in the darkened neuronal pathways of my feeble mind, it meant that he had had two good games in a row! Neglecting, of course, his 9 point performance between this game, where he scored 26, and Thursday’s game, where he scored 22….

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Austin Rivers 22 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2015)

I’ve had an epiphany, and I refuse to make fun of Austin Rivers anymore. I was thinking about how much I enjoy making highlights, and how sad I would be if all anyone could ever say about me is how GD and DawkIns are better than me, despite me being pretty good at it. And…

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J.J. Redick 25 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2015)

Uh, is Ralph Lawler doing okay? His “BINGO”s are getting a little ragged, like he might be becoming mentally unhinged. Usually the “BINGO” is a fun, if slightly annoying, catchphrase said with the enthusiasm of a little boy watching basketball for the first time, but this game Lawler’s voice was almost malicious, like each Redick…

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J.J. Redick 24 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2015)

I don’t pay much attention to player tattoos, but has J.J. Redick always had that big Virgin Mary (or whatever it is) covering his whole left arm? I seem to remember him having some small amount of tattooage a few years ago, or maybe he didn’t, but I think my brain would definitely have some…

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Wes Johnson 21 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2015)

“All he does is score.” Why would you say that about Wes Johnson? That doesn’t make sense in any possible interpretation of the phrase. Even if you consider strictly basketball, it’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t do all that much scoring, even when he manages to detach his posterior from the bench. In the interest…

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Austin Rivers 17 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2015)

The Clippers bench, despite the crowing of Clippers fans during the offseason, really kind of sucks this year. Granted, there wasn’t much that coach/proud father/GM/ref-starer Doc Rivers could do given the limited resources at his disposal. I mean, who the heck would ever want Spencer Hawes? He found someone who did. That right there is…

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Austin Rivers 16 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2015)

Austin Rivers squirmed and grimaced in his bed. The tormenting dreams were back again. Finally, his eyes flew open, and the terror of the dream caused him to burst into tears. “Daddy! Daddy!” Doc Rivers came running into his son’s bedroom, flipped on the light, and immediately put a comforting arm around Austin’s shoulders. “What’s…

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