Tag: Marquese Chriss

It’s time to bury the “Chrisstaps Porzinguese” nickname for Marquese Chriss. It seems like his days as a stretchy big who shoots jumpshots are over. He has come to the sad, yet vital realization that if he wants to stick around in this league, he should stick to his strengths, his strengths being dunking and…

A few weeks ago, I rechristened Marquese “Mar-Queso” “Sea-Cheese” Chriss with the nickname “Bitch Cheese”. I did this because he was displaying behavioral patterns of being a bitch. The final straw was him getting into a scuffle with NBA golden boy Luka Doncic for no other reason than he was getting frustrated by getting out…

Marquese “Mar-Queso” “Sea-Cheese” Chriss has lately been on a murderous vendetta against rims all across the country. Never before has his shot selection been so disciplined and focused. His single goal on the court these days seems to be to cram basketballs through orange rings suspended ten feet in the air with fury that matches…

Shown in this video: Marquese Chriss enacting brutal REVENGE on the Suns for foolishly giving up on him, tearing down rims and blocking shots with primal fury. Not shown in this video: Marquese Chriss getting blocked by Devin Booker but showing incredible restraint by not punching him in his smug face after he started yapping…

As usual, there are a lot of storylines going in the NBA right now. An alien viewing our pathetic lithosphere-encased magma ball that we call “Earth” would assume that the point of professional basketball is to be able to view basketball played at the highest level. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth….

It seems to me that there was some strangeness going on with Marquese “Mar-Queso” “Sea-Cheese” Chriss’ contract that was on the very outermost fringes of my awareness. I think the Warriors waived him, waited for him to clear waivers, and then signed him to a different type of deal? Is that what went down? I…

I’m not usually one to obsess about which players are “bitches”, but even in the bitch-ignorant reality that I have carefully crafted for myself, I am well aware of Marquese “Marqueso” “Sea-Cheese” Chriss’ reputation in the league. And that reputation is not a good one. He has the reputation of being a bitch. So much…

Marquese “Marqueso” “Sea Cheese” Chriss was very close to being out of the league until the Warriors rescued him from the heap of discarded, unloved NBA players. He was lying there in the middle of the pile, surrounded by moaning, semi-coherent castoffs, waiting for somebody to dump them all in a shipping crate going to…