Mario Chalmers 23 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2016)

“Dear Diary, Wow! I can’t believe it’s been two months since that backstabber Pat Riley betrayed me! I’m having way more fun in Memphis than I ever did in stupid Miami, so I guess I should thank that double-crossing snake for trading me. I looked at Beno’s numbers today and he’s been sucking a fat…

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Jeff Green 26 Points Full Highlights (12/13/2015)

Inside Jeff Green’s brain, a small red blob labeled “star potential” is held prisoner. No matter how often it tries to escape from the isolated lobe of grey matter in which it resides, it simply cannot. If only Star Potential could free itself, it could visit every area of Jeff’s mind, allowing him to use…

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Courtney Lee 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/6/2015)

During last year’s playoffs I invented and debuted the #payAttentionToCourtneyLee hashtag to recognize him for his exceptional ability to accumulate win shares. Unfortunately, the Twitter campaign was mostly a failure, with only a few people using my expertly crafted phrase on their Twitter posts. DTB is not a quitter though. He has a will of…

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Vince Carter 14 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2015)

Do I watch NBA games to be reminded of how the unidirectional flow of time ravages all men equally? Do I watch NBA games to have the concept my own mortality shoved into my consciousness? Do I watch NBA games to reflect upon the cruel nature of the universe? No, no, and, hmmm, let’s see,…

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JaMychal Green 13 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2015)

Is it too early to call JaMychal Green a stretch big? Obviously not. Even if you reformulate the question to use the phrase “ELITE stretch big”, the answer is no. A big man shooting six of ten on threes unquestionably falls into the “elite” category, no questions asked. Think of it this way: if JaMychal…

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Marc Gasol Triple Double 16 pts/11 asts/11 rebs Full Highlights (11/20/2015)

Marc Gasol not only looks sort of like a potato, but he was also playing like one to start the season. He endured some rough shooting nights and often would only find solace in eating entire boxes of Bagel Bites, but all the hardship has paid off now that he has finally amassed enough stats…

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Mario Chalmers 29 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2015)

This is too many free throws. Just way too many. Who wants to watch 13 unguarded midrange set shots? Only people afflicted with mental illness. You might ask, why even show free throws in the first place? Like, for any video? Well, folks, it’s time for a little history lesson. That’s how DownToBuck rolled when…

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Mario Chalmers 11 Points Grizzlies Debut Full Highlights (11/13/2015)

I thought Mario Chalmers was supposed to be a Heat for life. It seemed like he was getting the Udonis Haslem treatment of being a marginal starter but still being treated loyally by the organization. So much for that. A Chalmers-Udrih swap doesn’t seem to move the needle, except for the steroid needles that Udrih…

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JaMychal Green 12 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2015)

The first thing the NBA should do if they want to get more fans is to abolish the “no hanging on the rim” rule. Telling basketball players not to hang on the rim is like telling football players not to spike the ball after touchdowns. If JaMychal Green, or anybody else, totally whaps it on…

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Courtney Lee 20 Points Full Highlights (4/29/2015)

My #payAttentionToCourtneyLee Twitter campaign has failed to gain any significant amount of momentum since I launched it two days ago. I don’t get it. Do I need to pay Twitter users to use my hashtag? Do I need to pay Twitter to promote it? If somebody tells me who to give money to, I will…

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