Lance Stephenson 16 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2016)

I hope you like layups. This video has a lot of layups. At least they’re the good kind of layups. The kind where Lance Stephenson bullies his way in from the perimeter for an improbable finish. The kind where he gets so hyped up because he got a bucket that he has to push people…

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Vince Carter 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (2/26/2016)

This is not good. The Grizzlies, lacking options at small forward and shooting guard, are piling the minutes onto Vince Carter. Do they even realize how old VC is? He’s 39. 39 years old. You don’t give twenty minutes to a guy that age, much less twenty minutes in five straight games. If VC is…

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P.J. Hairston Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (2/26/2016)

The Memphis Grizzlies have been one of the oldest teams in the NBA for a long time. Vince Carter’s presence on the roster certainly doesn’t help things, but they’ve long been built around two relatively old dudes, Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph. However, the trade deadline saw them make some minor moves which added dynamic…

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Matt Barnes 25 Points Full Highlights (2/24/2016)

Attention sensationalist media outlets: Thanks to your efforts, the whole world knows about how Matt Barnes and Derek Fisher got into a brawl over some stretched-out poon. One of the year’s most compelling stories brought to light thanks to your tireless dedication to trashy tabloid-esque garbage. Enough formalities. It is time for business. I (DownToBuck)…

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Lance Stephenson 16 Points Grizzlies Debut Full Highlights (2/21/2016)

With some recent trades, the Grizzlies have become a notably violent team. Let’s take look at a quick rundown of their transgressions, presented in alphabetical order for clarity. Jordan Adams: Punched a dude in the face Tony Allen: Punched O.J. Mayo while on an airplane Chris Andersen: Punched a bird to gain its power Matt…

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Vince Carter 15 Points/1 Full-Court Shot Full Highlights (2/19/2016)

It really hit me hard while making these highlights: Vince Carter is an old person. It should make me happy that he’s still almost-sorta-kinda productive in the NBA, but all I feel is sadness. He looks like one of those former NBA players who’s now an assistant coach, but instead of coaching, Carter is actually…

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Zach Randolph 26 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2016)

Zach Randolph has devised a smart strategy for remaining relevant as a player well into your 30’s: never, at any point, develop any semblance of athleticism. That way, when your athleticism (such as it is) fades away into the horizon of time, you didn’t really lose a whole lot. Z-Bo is doing the same midrange…

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Vince Carter 13 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (2/1/2016)

Someone needs to make a Raptors-era Vince Carter dunkilation. That’s all there is to it. All of Vinsanity’s dunks during his entire tenure with Toronto, compiled into one video for easy/intense consumption. I have not the means to do this. No one highlight maker does, not even the mighty LamarMatic or the wise Sheba021. The…

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Jeff Green 29 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2016)

It is a cold Sunday morning, and I enter the cozy coffee shop quickly, grateful for the rush of warmth that greets me as I open the door. Approaching the counter, I order my usual beverage while dutifully ignoring the flirtatious mannerisms of the counter girl. I remind myself, as I always do, that I…

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Mario Chalmers 23 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2016)

“Dear Diary, Wow! I can’t believe it’s been two months since that backstabber Pat Riley betrayed me! I’m having way more fun in Memphis than I ever did in stupid Miami, so I guess I should thank that double-crossing snake for trading me. I looked at Beno’s numbers today and he’s been sucking a fat…

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