Ray Allen 21 Points Full Highlights (6/16/2013)

Official Basketball Films Power Rankings: 1. Space Jam – This is an obvious one. EVERYBODY GET UP ITS TIME TO SLAM NOW WE GOT A REAL JAM GOING DOWN WELCOME TO THE SPACE JAM. 2. Semi-pro – Surprisingly good considering it had Will Farrell in it. 3. White Men Can’t Jump – That chick was…

Read More

Mike Miller 15 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (6/11/2013)

You want to hear something crazy? Mike Miller was once Rookie of the Year. Averaging 11 points and 4 rebounds. He was a product of the notorious 2000 draft, where every player was a bust. Kenyon Martin at #1 turned out okay, but he was still sort of a bust. The next players were Stromile…

Read More

Udonis Haslem 16 Points Full Highlights (5/30/2013)

The Heat are screwed. Yeah, they beat the Pacers by 11 points. Pretty good, right? It is, until you realize that Udonis Haslem scored 16 points, which is more than the margin of victory. If Haslem scores his usual 2 points, the Heat lose again, and suddenly their glowing championship dreams start turning into nightmares…

Read More

Norris Cole 18 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2013)

More NBA players should have semi-unique hairstyles like Norris Cole and his flattop. I get tired of seeing the same shaved look all the time. Think about how cool someone like LeBron would look with ass-length dreads. Or Wade with a big poofy afro. Or Bosh with a Beatles-style bowl cut. They’d still call them…

Read More

Juwan Howard 12 Points Full Highlights (4/17/2013)

Juwan Howard has been in the league 19 years. 19 YEARS. HOLY CRAP. There are players in the NBA who have been alive for less time than Juwan has been in the NBA. Does that cook your noodle or what? Anyway, he’s pretty useless nowadays, but considering his advanced age, it’s a minor miracle that…

Read More

Mike Miller 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (4/17/2013)

Mike “Oh god my back” Miller is making a case for getting minutes in the playoffs with his excellent last few games. Of course, nothing will ever match the intensity of the reign of terror he brought against the Thunder in the last game of the finals, but a few threes here and there would…

Read More

Shane Battier 15 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/10/2013)

Every time someone on the Heat makes a three you can expect to hear the same thing: “Kaboom” Screw you Eric Reid, the point of a catchphrase is that it doesn’t get overused. You have to save it for a particularly deep or clutch three. You can’t just say it every single time.

Read More

Chris Bosh 28 Points Full Highlights (2/3/2013)

Chris Bosh is a pretty weird dude. So I’m coming back from the store, I just needed to pick up milk and some Totino’s pizza rolls (damn those things are good). I’m walking back down to my place and I see Chris Bosh just standing there on the other side of the street. He has…

Read More

Mario Chalmers Career High 34 Points (10 Threes) Full Highlights (1/12/2013)

10 Threes. Holy Balls. That’s a lot, especially for a not great player like Mario Chalmers. Here’s a comprehensive list of people who have made that many: Kobe Bryant, Donyell Marshall, Dennis Scott, JR Smith, Ty Lawson, Ray Allen, Joe Dumars, George McCloud, Peja Stojakovic, and Brian Shaw. Aside from possibly Shaw, Chalmers is the…

Read More

Ray Allen 20 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2013)

Ray “Don’t call me Jesus” Allen’s acrimonious departure from the Celtics was well documented in the media. I guess Rondo doesn’t even acknowledge the dude’s existence anymore. And there were plenty of angry Celtics fans on forums claiming he was done, washed up, kaput. He’s not. Well he kind of is. But the last thing…

Read More