Brandon Knight 26 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/15/2014)

Brandon approached the two chattering cheerleaders as soon as the final buzzer sounded. “Hey, girls, I need a really big favor.” Sarrah and Monique looked over at the player whose made baskets they regularly celebrated during games. After exchanging a glance, Sarrah said, “Sure, Brandon, what’s up?” Brandon looked over to where Kaytee, the target…

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Ersan Ilyasova 29 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2014)

Brandon Knight walked serenely through the snow-covered fields of southeastern Wisconsin. What better way to spend an off day than in rural, idyllic beauty? No hangers-on to bother him out here. Just him and nature. “Help me! Help me!” Brandon Knight snapped out of his reverie at the sound of someone yelling. Curious, he walked…

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Luke Ridnour 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/11/2014)

When you think of Luke Ridnour, what associations are made in your mind? White? Unathletic? Veteran leadership? Pure shooter? Goofy face? Those would all be correct associations to make, but when I think about Luke Ridnour, there is one thing that immediately springs to mind: Idaho. This northwestern US state, home to 1.5 million people,…

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Brandon Knight 25 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/4/2014)

“Come on Brandon, get going, we gotta play,” O.J. Mayo said, stopping to look at his teammate, who had halted in the door frame. “Dude, I can’t go out there. Kaytee’s gonna be courtside. I can’t let her see me,” Brandon responded in a somewhat panicked voice. “There’s gotta be some other way to get…

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Giannis Antetokounmpo 10 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/2/2014)

I’ve seen a lot of comparisons for Giannis Antetokounmpo strewn across the internet. Some of them are worse than others; all of them are hilariously optimistic. Kevin Durant. They have the same body, but Kevin Durant’s jumper is a finely tuned machine. Giannis’ jumper looks like how he looks: a mess of flailing arms. Dirk…

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Larry Sanders 16 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2014)

Forgive me if you’ve heard this before. Talented young player balls hard and earns himself a nice big contract. Starts off the next year pretty poorly before getting into a bar fight with a bunch of Albanians and injuring his hand. Fans start to concoct homerish one-sided trade ideas. Maybe you haven’t heard the part…

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Giannis Antetokounmpo 14 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/23/2013)

Giannis awoke to a pounding headache. Realizing that he was lying on some kind of hard surface, he kept his eyes closed, knowing that wherever he was, it wasn’t good. He cast his mind back in time, attempting to remember the last thing his waking body had done. The details were fuzzy: Caron cajoling him…

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Khris Middleton 27 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2013)

“I don’t know guys, this doesn’t seem like a good idea to me.” Khris Middleton was standing outside of the Bradley Center in nothing but his boxers. Around him were several of his teammates, including Caron Butler, Zaza Pachulia, and Ersan Ilyasova. Caron dismissed Khris’ apprehensions. “Don’t worry about it. Nobody’s ever hurt themselves doing…

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Miroslav Raduljica Career High 14 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2013)

Back by popular demand! It’s…the MIROSLAVā„¢ Personal Basketball Player. Some of its features: -Dunks, slams, and jams! (alley-oops not included) -Runs up and down the court until it gets tired -Special TURNOVER-PRONEā„¢ technology for when you would rather not keep possession of the ball -Comes with three interchangeable jerseys: home, away, and alternate -Stephen King…

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John Henson 18 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (12/20/2013)

The evil Dr. Exosphere rubbed his hands together eagerly. “Yes, yes…my creation is almost ready to be unveiled!” Inside the giant test tube, a humanlike form floated in a pseudo-placental fluid. “Just one more dose of the growth hormone, and he will be ready to take the court! Basketball domination will soon be in my…

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