J.J. Redick 17 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2013)

Hey J.J. I know you’re reading this man. I need you to Fedex me a whole box of bratwurst (Klement’s please, none of this Johnsonville crap, I have standards). Nestled among the wieners should be a vial containing a few of your hairs. I intend to conduct an experiment on the genetics of jump-shooting, but…

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Ersan Ilyasova 29 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2013)

Ersan Ilyasova has rebounded (heh) very well from a poor start to he season. His work on the glass and smooth outside shot are much appreciated on the Bucks. Against the Raptors he scored 29 points, as well as a game-winning tip-in with 7 seconds left. Or, it would have been the game winner if…

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Brandon Jennings 11 Points/Career High 19 Assists Full Highlights (3/2/2013)

This game calls into question everything I thought I knew about Brandon Jennings. He’s supposed to be a low-intelligence chucker with bad court vision and average playmaking ability. A skinny guy with little in the way of traditional point guard skills who once made a video of himself dancing to a Lady Gaga song. But…

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Larry Sanders 14 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (2/19/2013)

What was Larry Sanders’ most beloved childhood toy? Blocks. His favorite military action? Blockade. Preferred tax preparation agency? H&R Block. Favorite line of CSS code? “display: block;”. Most aurally pleasing percussion instrument? Woodblock. Favorite defunct movie rental chain? Movie Gallery.

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Samuel Dalembert 12 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/29/2013)

Samuel “Fatty D” Dalembert is pretty worthless these days. He is a horrible help defender and he thinks he’s KG or something with all the jumpers he takes. But he does still have some useful traits, like being freakishly tall and still being ambulant. And he can dunk. That’s pretty cool. In conclusion: Samuel Dalembert…

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Brandon Jennings 30 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2013)

Brandon “Baddy Chuck” Jennings will never be an All-Star. All-Stars don’t shoot 40% from the field unless they’re named Allen Iverson. Too bad, because the All-Star game’s “run and chuck” mode of play is perfectly suited to what Jennings likes to do on the court, which is run around really fast and chuck bad shots….

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Ersan Ilyasova 27 Points/16 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/22/2013)

I try to do repeats as temporally separate as possible. Sometimes it doesn’t work out. Like when Ersan Ilyasova has two huge games in a row. 27 and 14 followed up by an even better 27 and 16. By the time the end of the season rolls around I’m gonna be doing “Ersan Ilyasova 27…

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Ersan Ilyasova 27 Points/14 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/19/2013)

Whenever I see Ersan Ilyasova play, my mind is filled with questions: “Has this guy ever been outside? Why does he look like he fell into a vat of off-white paint? Is he a mole-person? Is that why his real name is Arsen Ilyasov?” The jury’s still out on the mole-person thing, but one thing…

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Larry Sanders Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2013)

While not leaving his puppies outside in the cold Milwaukee winter without food or shelter, Larry Sanders enjoys dominating people on the basketball court. His preferred method is to swat their shots out of bounds, but he is not afraid to dunk on their faces if the opportunity presents itself. He does more of the…

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John Henson 19 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2013)

John “Concentration Camp” Henson offers a glimpse into the life of a power forward with no power. I don’t know if there is a skinnier big man in the league. So what does he do? He uses a bunch of funky-looking hooks and floaters to score. Some say that he needs to bulk up a…

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