Robert Covington 22 Points Full Highlights (12/4/2019)

Robert “Processed Cheese” Covington is secretly the glue guy that keeps the Timberwolves functioning. At least, he seems like he would be that guy. I don’t know enough about the intricacies of the Timberwolves roster to say that for sure. But he’s the guy who provides defense (DownToBuck doesn’t care about defense), steady shooting (not…

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Keita Bates-Diop 16 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2019)

I don’t know why Timberwolves fans would bother getting excited for a second-year player who can’t really shoot and who plays too much defense when they could get excited for a second-year player who is looking like a pretty good shooter and who maybe plays defense but definitely looks like he could be a good…

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Keita Bates-Diop Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2019)

Keita Bates-Diop stats before this game: 3-6 from the field, 11 points in 38 minutes. Keita Bates-Diop stats in this game: 9-18 from the field, 22 points in 37 minutes. Keita Bates-Diop stats after this game: 580-1243 from the field, 1731 points in 2023 minutes. Just trust me on this one, I said I wasn’t…

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Jeff Teague 21 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2019)

“Dear Jeff, Let me cut right to the chase. Your mere existence is a terrible burden on me. There is nothing I dread more than looking at the box-score of a game and seeing your name there. And when my eyes scan across the row to see double-digit assists, or a scoring total in the…

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Kelan Martin 14 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2019)

Just from looking at the thumbnail, one thing is immediately clear about Kelan Martin: he’s not one of those young rookies, he’s one of those OLD rookies. Okay, fine, the thumbnail doesn’t expressly show the fact that he’s a rookie, but that’s a bit of context you should already now. It does definitely show that…

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Jake Layman 21 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2019)

Timberwolves record when Jake Layman scores in double digits: 5-2 Timberwolves record when Jake Layman scores in single digits: 1-5 The conclusion is clear: the Timberwolves’ success is closely tied to Layman’s success. It cannot possibly be the other way around (where Layman’s success is tied to the Timberwolves’ success). Just don’t even let that…

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Robert Covington 20 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2019)

I am just now realizing how absolutely SICK a Robert Covington three-ilation would be. I had a bunch of chances, like 4 years worth of high-volume three-point shooting seasons when he was in Philly, and I ignored them all. Am I just now realizing how wonderful his shooting form is? Did I not realize before?…

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Jake Layman 16 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2019)

Jake “Justin Timberjake” Layman needs to somehow force his teammates to cater to his preferred playstyle. What is that preferred playstyle, you tremblingly ask while cowering before the intellectual might and intimidating good looks of Highlight God DownToBuck? Backdoor cuts. Backdoor cuts for days. Backdoor cuts for nights. Last year, my Jake Layman dunkilation was…

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Jake Layman 16 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2019)

Jake Layman: the next Kevin Love in Minnesota? Let’s take a look at the facts as they factually exist in reality. Shoots threes? Check. Dunks? Check. White? Check. Rebounds? Layman had 2 of them in this game. CHECK! Handsome? Check. Franchise Player? Check. At least, it will be a check once he stops getting held…

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Jarrett Culver 15 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/6/2019)

Jarrett Culver’s 5-game streak of 1-assist performances comes to a tragic end in Memphis, with him finishing with 7 assists to go with 15 points. Sad! I blame Andrew Wiggins for actually making some shots for once (is it just me or has not been as garbage this year) as well as Karl-Anthony Towns for…

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