Quincy Pondexter Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2015)

Quincy “Q-Pon” Pondexter has returned to the city that first gave him a chance in the NBA, New Orleans. After a few years as a valued role-player in Memphis, he mysteriously began to suck a huge amount of ass this year, which prompted a trade to the Pelicans. Now, not only is he un-sucking himself,…

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Luke Babbitt 18 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (2/23/2015)

“That was a pretty good win tonight, huh? All thanks to me.” Luke Babbitt stared at the locker room mirror, his brow furrowed. “All thanks to you? I think you’re forgetting who actually takes and makes the shots here. Your presence is a help, no doubt about it, but what would you be without me?…

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Norris Cole 12 Points/3 Assists Pelicans Debut Full Highlights (2/21/2015)

“Dear diary, Great news today! The Heat traded me. I know! Riley said he was sorry to see me go, but I could tell he wasn’t sincere. Nobody liked me in Miami. Well, I didn’t like any of them either. I can’t believe that bitch Shabazz Napier took my backup PG spot. He sucks. The…

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Toney Douglas 15 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2015)

Toney “Baloney” Douglas is just the next in a succession of point guards that the Pelicans are trying out for the backup spot. And boy, is it an ugly list: -Russ Smith (literally who?) -Austin Rivers (had to be rescued by his dad because the Celtics were going to send him to the D-League) -Jimmer…

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Luke Babbitt 15 Points/1 Dunk Full Hairlights (2/11/2015)

“Our power is growing. I can feel it,” said Luke Babbitt, seemingly talking to an empty locker room. “It is as I told you. The longer I get, the better you shoot,” replied Luke’s hair. “Monty, the vile minutes-reducer, will pay dearly for his insolence. When you were benched, I could feel the anger glowing…

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Luke Babbitt 15 Points/4 Twos Full Highlights (2/9/2015)

Luke “Alloy of Tin, Copper, and Antimony” Babbitt is another one of those things called a “three-point specialist”. To illustrate his specialness, take a look at this stat: prior to this game, he was shooting 18% from two-point range. You can forget about all that now. It turns out that Anthony Davis was really holding…

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Jimmer Fredette 10 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (2/2/2015)

“Sir, sir? Spare some change for a homeless veteran?” Trying to look as helpless as possible, Jimmer jangled his extra-large Burger King cup at the passing pedestrian, to no avail. The man bustled right by without even glancing in the direction of the panhandler that was accosting him. Jimmer, used to being ignored, wasn’t fazed….

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Tyreke Evans 25 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2015)

Again, my phone rings. This time, I know exactly who it is, as this customer has been assigned a special ringtone: Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”. I put the finishing touches on a new video description, then give in to the phone’s pleas to be answered. “Hello, Mr. Evans. I was wondering when I…

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Tyreke Evans 24 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (1/25/2015)

My phone rings, playing the generic “Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangster” ringtone that it defaults to when it doesn’t find the caller in my contact list. Busy with some clip editing, I let it ring for ten seconds before answering. “DownToBuck speaking. Make it quick.” “It’s Tyreke. You gonna make a video…

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