Jerian Grant 13 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/22/2016)

A disturbing amount of assists in the video take the form of “imma drive into the paint oh damn its crowded in here turn around and throw it back out to that big who is just hanging out back there wow he canned the jumper”. He also had some nicer ones, but since I’m a…

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Robin Lopez 22 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2016)

If Fropez is scoring 22 points, that can only mean one thing. Well, actually two things. One of the things it means is that Fropez was taking touches away from our lord Kristaps. The other thing it means is that there were probably a bunch of crazy no-arc hookshots that somehow dropped through the hoop…

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Arron Afflalo 25 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2016)

As fan voting for the All-Star game draws to a close, we can be sure of one thing: Arron Afflalo didn’t get in. If voters had a conscience, they would attempt to atone for their mistakes in the 2013-14 season, where they failed to ensure that Arron would receive a berth, even though he was…

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Kristaps Porzingis 17 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2016)

This might be one of Kristaps Porzingis’ best performances this year, not in terms of raw stats, but in terms of aesthetics. For the linguistically challenged among us, “aesthetics” is a fancy term for when something looks good. Like that chick at Starbucks who you’re too much of a pussy to go talk to. An…

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Jerian Grant 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/12/2016)

Things that New Yorkers are deluded about: -How good their pizza is (floppy triangles are unacceptable) -That anyone wants to visit their overcrowded hellhole (they most certainly do not) -That their cost of living is reasonable (I can buy a house in Boise for the amount they pay monthly for 200 square feet) -How good…

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Kristaps Porzingis 26 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)

Success! As evidenced by the thumbnail image, I have managed to capture the exact moment when Jesus Christ, as he does every game, asks Kristaps Porzingis to join him up in heaven, so that he can have someone to talk to as he sits at God’s right hand. Kristaps, of course, would get to sit…

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Kristaps Porzingis 28 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2016)

“How long do you think we wait in line for rye bread?”, Kristaps Porzingis asked as he approached the Walmart. Carmelo Anthony stopped walking and looked at his teammate. “You say this is your first time going to a grocery store?” “American grocery store, yes. I have been to many grocery store in Latvia, and…

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Robin Lopez 19 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)

Does Fropez always take this long on his post moves? He’ll catch the ball and just stand there for five seconds (weak jab steps/ball fakes optional) before he decides what he wants to do with it. There’s a reason there’s a shot clock, bro. It’s so that you’re decisive with the ball. Not to mention…

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Kristaps Porzingis 17 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2016)

Had Carmelo Anthony and a bunch of refs not intervened, I’d say we were about five seconds away from seeing Kristaps Porzingis and Kent Bazemore take the gloves off and start throwing haymakers at each other. I am curious, as we all are, what the outcome of that fight would have been. Let’s take a…

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Arron Afflalo 38 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2016)

Carmelo Anthony packed up his things, alone in the locker room, having fielded the last of the reporters’ questions. They had wanted to talk to Arron Afflalo about his excellent game tonight; but he was nowhere to be found. Must have left early, Carmelo thought as he slung his bag over his shoulder. Can’t blame…

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