Iman Shumpert Career High 27 Points/1 Game Winner Full Highlights (1/2/2014)

Iman Shumpert? More like Iman Dumpert. Because all he has done this year is take a huge dump on the hopes of Knicks fans. He’s been in a shooting slump that’s lasted the whole year up until tonight, and his vaunted defensive acumen has been victimized by his lack of effort. Is he the reason…

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Amar’e Stoudemire 22 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2013)

Christmas again. The bespectacled, unshaven man looked out of from his Manhattan apartment. Down on the street he could see all the accoutrements of the season; holly, fake icicles made of lights, and wreaths, among other gaudery. Signs on the business below proclaimed their hope that you would have a great Christmas. Amar’e sighed, and…

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Beno Udrih 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/18/2013)

Beno “Bueno” Udrih is the proud owner of the lamest haircut in the NBA. “Lack of haircut” would actually be a better term. Bueno, you know I respect your PG skills, and I still think you’re a viable starter on a team that doesn’t need scoring out of the point guard position, but I was…

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Andrea Bargnani 23 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2013)

Bargnani sat down heavily at his desk. He was exhausted, not by the physical exertion of practice, but by the prose aching to be released from his body. Pulling to him a feather pen and a piece of stationery, he wrote: “As stars shine in the night above It is only you I think of,…

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Amar’e Stoudemire 15 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (12/10/2013)

Look at how old Amare Stoudemire looks. DAMN. Those goggles add like 5 years at least by themselves. Now watch him play. Try not to cry. I’ll go get the tissues. Done yet? Good. Because I’ve got some more sadness ready to heap onto your already battered psyche: you will never, EVER, get to see…

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Andrea Bargnani 16 Points/3 Blocks/2 Techs/1 Ejection Full Highlights

If you told me during the offseason that the Knicks were gonna suck really bad, I could have given a very good guess as to why. Andrea Bargnani. But I would have been wrong. He’s actually playing pretty decently, especially considering the hebetude of everyone around him. Making shots on one end and blocking them…

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Tim Hardaway Jr. Career High 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

What’s wrong with the Knicks? That’s a stupid question. There is an obvious problem with the Knicks that was not present last year: JR Smith is playing like he’s a homeless man who just happened to wander in to Madison Square Garden. That and the fact that they aren’t hitting threes at the ridiculous rate…

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Beno Udrih 19 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2013)

Beno Udrih is a continuation of the Knicks’ strategy last year: find the oldest, most savvy vets and acquire them on reasonable deals. Udrih isn’t all that old, but what he lacks in years he makes up for in savviness. I’d consider him top 10 in that category. He seems like a good idea in…

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Andrea Bargnani 24 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2013)

“Come on Andrea, don’t you want to help mommy pick out some cereal?” Andrea Bargnani didn’t move. He was stopped in the pasta aisle, staring intently at one particular product. His mother grabbed his hand and tugged gently. “Andrea, let’s go.” “Can we get some of this?” The five-year-old Andrea asked innocently, eyes remaining fixed…

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Tim Hardaway Jr. 14 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2013)

I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t really know a whole lot about Tim Hardaway Jr. I know his dad was a pretty good point guard in the 90’s. I think he may have gone to Michigan. Or Michigan State. I get the two confused sometimes. He can definitely dunk. And shoot threes. Those are…

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