Victor Oladipo 17 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)

Are the Magic still tanking? Because I can’t figure out why they’d want to start Jameer Nelson over Victor Oladipo. I mean, yeah, Nelson is a former All-Star, but he’s not exactly on the upswing of his career. Oladipo is young and spry and can probably play all 48 every night. The downside to that…

Read More

Nikola Vucevic 22 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (10/30/2013)

“Hurry up fatty! I want to ride the Astro Orbitor again!” A red-faced Glen Davis had just caught up to his companion. “Nik, you might be our franchise center, but if you call me fat one more time…” Nikola laughed. “Whatever you say, tubby. We gotta hit all the rides at least once more before…

Read More

Andrew Nicholson 18 Points Full Highlights (10/29/2013)

The burning sand had blistered the shambling man’s feet into mangled caricatures. The pervasive winds had tattered his clothes to mere shreds. Yet he continued his journey. The vast, barren plains of the desert had nearly wiped every sane thought from his mind. The unrelenting sun had tormented his eyes for months, making hazy the…

Read More

Tobias Harris 22 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2013)

I have run out of things to say about Tobias “Tubes” Harris. I sit here typing this description, watching the minutes remaining on the upload dwindle to zero, and still the muse remains silent. Now it’s processing, and in just a few seconds the upload will be complete. Hurry, hurry! Damn.

Read More

Doron Lamb Career High 16 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2013)

There is a lot of consternation among Milwaukee Bucks fans that Tobias Harris was traded away for a bunch of garbage and Gustavo Ayon. But there is much less annoyance in the fact that they lost Doron Lamb as well. There’s a reason for this. It’s because Lamb had been pretty much total crap for…

Read More

Nikola Vucevic 21 Points/21 Rebounds Full Highlights (4/7/2013)

Is Nikola Vucevic the best Montenegrin basketball player ever? No, that’s Nikola Pekovic. And even if Pekovic had never been born, Vucevic doesn’t count because his Wikipedia page says he was born in Switzerland. So is Vucevic the best Swiss basketball player ever? His only competition is Thabo Sefolosha and Enes Kanter. Wait. Enes Kanter…

Read More

Tobias Harris 26 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2013)

What’s life like for a NBA player who’s below the legal drinking age? All their teammates are like “Hey we’re going down to Jolly’s to slam some brews you wanna come oh wait sorry haha”. And when you head to Miami on a road trip you get to sit in your hotel room and order…

Read More

Beno Udrih 17 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (4/1/2013)

One of the many perks of being an NBA highlight compiler is the vast network of undercover operatives at my disposal. I tasked some of my Slovenian mafioso contacts to raid Beno Udrih’s childhood home and furnish me with any items of interest. The only things they got were a Michael Jordan poster and a…

Read More

Tobias Harris Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2013)

Does this dude score a career high every game? It’s starting to seem like it. I fully expect him to have dropped 40 by the time the end of the season rolls around. And not only did he score a career high, his team also won the game! Things are looking up.

Read More

Kyle O’Quinn Career High 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/27/2013)

Kyle O’Quinn sat down at his writing desk, his inner words eagerly awaiting their release onto paper. He picked up his quill pen and, as if guided by unknown cosmic forces, wrote: “Eire, the emerald isle, my true home. How I yearn for the green expanses of your valleys, the brown cliffs, the blue waters….

Read More