Mike Muscala 17 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2019)

Mike “Muscy Stench” Muscala isn’t even shooting 40% from the field this year. That’s not a good look for a big guy, since big guys are, by definition, closer to the basket than little guys, which means it’s easier form them to score. That’s just how the world works. The world works by discriminating against…

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Shake Milton 11 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2019)

If this were the 76ers of a few years ago, you just know that Shake Milton would be averaging 17 points per game while getting to chuck any shot he wanted. Maybe he’d even be in the convo for ROY. But this is not the 76ers of a few years ago. This is the 76ers…

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Corey Brewer 20 Points/1 Kick Full Highlights (1/26/2019)

When Corey Brewer started this season not on anybody’s roster, I was a little bit surprised. But only a little bit. We’re talking a miniscule amount of surprise, so small that it barely even registered on my emotional seismograph. In reality, he has never been a good player. He has been an okay player for…

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Landry Shamet 18 Points Full Highlights (1/21/2019)

Landry Shamet averaged 5 assists per game in his final season at Wichita State. That’s… a lot of assists! I am absolutely surprised by that figure, because right now he’s doing hardly any playmaking. For comparison, Chris Paul averaged only 6.6 in his final college season. That’s not even a whole lot more, and Paul…

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Mike Muscala 16 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2019)

Mike “Muscy Stench” Muscala was rudely jammed into the starting lineup in the absence of Joel Embiid, who was out with a sore ankle. I don’t want to freak anyone out here, but the Achilles is kind of near the ankle, and the fact that the whole area was sore is very concerning to me….

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T.J. McConnell 16 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/11/2019)

It must be kind of cruddy to be the best midrange shooter in a league where the majority of fans think midrange shots are stupid and dumb and inefficient. Here’s the deal, stats nerds who haven’t even seen, much less touched, an unclothed female heinie: those shots are only inefficient if it’s not T.J. McConnell…

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Furkan Korkmaz 16 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2019)

Furkan “Chuckan Statpadmaz” Korkmaz lived up to his nickname by chucking a bunch of balls into a bunch of hoops (well, just one hoop) in the very end of garbage time against the Wizards, pushing his total from a blah and uninteresting 7 to an exciting and noteworthy 16. He only needed 50 seconds to…

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Furkan Korkmaz 16 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2019)

Furkan “The Motherfurker” “Korverkmaz” “The Turk Furk” Korkmaz isn’t even shooting above 40% from the field this season. I just found this out and it’s like a total betrayal for me. I guess I made too many highlights of this guy and assumed that he was as good as his highlight videos made him out…

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Landry Shamet Career High 29 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (1/8/2019)

If the 76ers are thinking that Landry Shamet can be a long-term replacement for J.J. Redick, this game definitely added some legitimacy to that idea. However, it didn’t do anything to help the main issue that’s standing in the way of their plan, which is that Shamet is simply WAY weirder-looking than Redick. By a…

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Jonah Bolden 11 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)

Is it fair to say that Jonah Bolden was… emBOLDENed by this performance? Ha! Ha! HAHAHAHA! EMBOLDENED! Get it? Hehehe. Because his name… is BOLDEN! HA! That’s all I’ve got, folks. That right there, that crappy pun, is going to form the entirety of this description about Bolden and his career-high-shattering performance, because I’ve got…

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