Gerald Green 26 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/4/2014)

Gerald Green, dressed as a banana, walked into the costume party with dread. It was well-known that Miles Plumlee threw the best holiday-themed bashes, but the prospect of scores of hot girls walking around in “naughty nurse” costumes didn’t do much to brighten his mood. He hated Halloween. Why should the concept of hiding your…

Read More

Isaiah Thomas 23 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Isaiah Thomas browsed Kickstarter without much direction. He liked the concept of the site; but why did there have to be so much infeasible crap on it? It seemed every project he backed went up in flames within a month. He scrolled quickly through the “fashion” section, as usual. Nothing but ugly clothes for uglier…

Read More

Alex Len 10 Points/11 Rebounds Full Highlights (10/31/2014)

Doing highlights of a player I’ve never done before is a rush. It’s like the feeling you got when you were a kid when you opened up the Pokemon booster pack and got a holographic Zapdos (never a Charizard, god damn it). And I’ve been waiting a long time to “collect” Alex Len, so to…

Read More

Marcus Morris 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Marcus saw his brother, Markieff, grab a heavily-contested rebound. Rather than dump it off to Dragic or Bledsoe, Markieff took the ball himself, and Marcus began to sprint alongside him. Not making eye contact, Marcus instead began to think the phrase “throw me the lob” over and over. He was sure it would work this…

Read More

Isaiah Thomas 23 Points/5 Threes Suns Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

At one point, though it has mostly died down, there was a lot of hype for the “Giannis Antetokounmpo as a point guard” concept. He represents a departure from the NBA of old, a utopist future of “positionless basketball”. I don’t see why Isaiah Thomas can’t be part of that future too. The Suns have…

Read More

Miles Plumlee All 103 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)

If you asked me before the season how many dunks Miles Plumlee would successfully execute I would have said maybe 20. He didn’t show anything with the Pacers last year, and didn’t really show anything at Duke either. No reason he should suddenly become good. I forgot that the Suns didn’t really have a center…

Read More

Gerald Green All 57 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)

If Gerald Green dunks it this hard in the NBA, imagine how hard he was dunking during the two years he spent in glorious Russia. Nothing against the guys in the Russian league, I’m sure they ball their hearts out every night, but they probably were no match for Gerald Green’s superhuman jamming prowess. In…

Read More

Archie Goodwin Career High 29 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (4/16/2014)

It was summertime in Phoenix. Archie Goodwin was, somewhat understandably, not participating in the usual activities of the season. For one thing, it was too hot, and for another, he was lost in thought. He sat facing his TV, but it wasn’t turned on, and hadn’t been since the end of the season. If he…

Read More

Channing Frye 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/12/2014)

Sitting in his Portland apartment, Channing sadly contemplated his unsuccessful career. He was a free agent now, but after scoring a mere four points per game the previous season, he wasn’t even sure if there was a place for him in the NBA anymore. His agent tried to put on a brave face, but Channing…

Read More

Gerald Green 32 Points/1 Self-Oop Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

As a sagacious person once said: “With great power comes great responsibility”. That quote frames nicely my disappointment in Gerald Green tonight. Some may be impressed by his alley-oop to himself off the glass against the Blazers. And to the uninitiated, it certainly was. While he may have been pretty much eating the rim like…

Read More