Rodney Hood 19 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2019)

By scoring 7 straight points in the final minute of the fourth overtime, Rodney Hood officially made himself the hero of this game. Lamian Illard and B.J. McSuckballsum, the Blazers supposed “stars”, were made to stand around and watch as Hood took over the game, declaring “I’m tired of watching you losers fail to put…

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Enes Kanter 26 Points Full Highlights (4/29/2019)

Since Enes Kanter played this entire game with a painful shoulder, it’s impossible for me (a narrative-starved pseudojournalist who is tasked with writing something meaningful about him) to not draw comparisons to Michael Jordan’s infamous “Flu Game”. So that’s what I’m going to do right now. Compare MJ’s “Flu Game” to Kanter’s “Shoulder Game”. One…

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Maurice Harkless 17 Points Full Highlights (4/23/2019)

The narrative from this game, carefully curated by the media for mass consumption by an undiscerning populace, is that Damian Lillard is the hero of this game for hitting a three-pointer as time expired. As the narrative goes, Lillard’s shot was a game-winner, and it gave him fifty points for the game, so he’s the…

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Al-Farouq Aminu 19 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2019)

The Trailblazers are a lot harder to beat when Al-Farouq Aminu is hitting a large amount of his catapaulted rainbow threes. This is his season-high in threes, with four, and the three other times he’s done that this season Portland has a record of… 1 win and 2 losses? Okay, well it SEEMS like the…

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Enes Kanter 19 Points Full Highlights (4/19/2019)

Portland’s over-reliance on their two midget chuckers (Damian Lillard and CJ McCollum, Gary Trent is a midget chucker but they aren’t reliant on him) is going to get them into trouble in these playoffs, mark my words. Maybe it already had gotten them in trouble, with this loss. Aside from that height-challenged duo of shooting…

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Enes Kanter 20 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2019)

It’s not a stretch to say that Enes Kanter won this game for the Blazers with his inextinguishible desire to grab rebounds, particularly of the offensive variety. While Lameian Brickard and C.J. McChuckBrick were missing shots, Kanter just walked right in there to clean things up for them. Some clutch O-boards at the end +…

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Meyers Leonard 19 Points Full Highlights (4/11/2019)

I still don’t see what’s so wrong with Meyers Leonard that he gets big stretches of DNPs. He looks fine to me. The buckets in this video are buckets that any playoff team would desire. If the Blazers really don’t want him, I, on behalf of the Bucks, offer one (1) Thon Maker for him….

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Jake Layman 19 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)

Jake Layman ends the season 50th in total dunks made, tied with Pascal Siakam and Kyle Kuzma. That’s pretty good! Looking at the people above him in the list, it’s a lot of bigs who should be getting more dunks, with only a few other small forwards among the names. And most of those players…

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Gary Trent 19 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)

The Trailblazers decided to employ a tried-and-true strategy against the Kings: use as few bench players as possible. It makes perfect sense; since you’re starting your best players and they make the best lineup, why would you ever take that lineup out of the game? They didn’t go all the way with it, foolishly playing…

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Skal Labissiere 29 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)

I’ve been a big Skal Labissiere fan ever since he put together some monster games for the Kings back in his rookie season. For some reason, coaches don’t see a reason to play him even though it’s quite obvious from my perspective that he’s a versatile big who can score on the inside, score on…

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