Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points/7 Assists/6 Blocks Full Highlights (1/21/2019)

If Jusuf “Nurk Dowitzki” Nurkic had managed to do anything in the fourth quarter other than commit four fouls and get an assist, he might have had a quadruple-double. By my count (which is hastily done and could be off by as much as two hundred in either direction), he only needed three rebounds, four…

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Jake Layman 20 Points/1 Quarter Full Highlights (1/18/2019)

Lurking in the nighttime shadows in the upscale neighborhood, Jake Layman tried to pick the lock as quietly as he was able. Even if the house he was targeting didn’t have the most aware of residents, the inhabitants of nearby houses were likely to be hyper-vigilant about possible crimes in the area. So Jake took…

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Jake Layman 18 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/16/2019)

Jake “Lake Jayman” Layman has been getting more minutes recently. This is good to see after he was intermittently getting DNP’s through the month of December. It’s also good to see that he sometimes has good games even though he’s only getting around twenty minutes as the starter. Ever since his rookie debut where he…

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Jusuf Nurkic Triple Double 10 Pts/10 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (1/16/2019)

Since I don’t feel like actually writing something insightful or funny about Jusuf Nurkic right now (I used up all my narrative energy on a story where Spencer Dinwiddie yells “It’s Dinner Time” while forcefeeding James Harden snack foods), I’m going to hit the proverbial “easy button” on this description and just give you a…

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Zach Collins 16 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2019)

I am now fondly remembering with a smirk on my face all the overreactions to Zach Collins’ 6-block opening night. Since it happened on national TV, and everyone was watching because when the season’s just starting you watch any NBA action you possibly can, there were a lot of people who had never seen him…

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Seth Curry 17 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2019)

I’m going to start calling Seth Curry “Coconut Curry” because his head kind of looks like a coconut would if you took out the furry brown shell and were just left with the white globe of actual coconut flesh. And because his last name is Curry. Get it? Coconut…Curry? This honestly might be my finest…

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Jusuf Nurkic 25 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2019)

It seems like at least once a game, Jusuf Nurkic ends up on the floor clutching one body part or another as a pool of blood spreads from his prone body. Who says basketball isn’t a contact sport? He should start wearing a helmet so he can take those elbows to the face without missing…

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Jusuf Nurkic 22 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2019)

One game after acquiring the totally pedestrian and barely notable feat of a 5-by-5, Jusuf Nurkic fell embarrassingly short of the goal last night, needing four more assists, two more steals, and four more blocks. He also didn’t even get a quadruple-double. Or a triple-double. Or a double-double. A double-double is, like, almost an automatic…

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Jusuf Nurkic 5 by 5 (24 Pts, 23 Rebs, 7 Asts, 5 Stls, 5 Blks) Full Highlights (1/1/2019)

“Yo, is something up with Jusuf?” asked Evan Turner to Meyers Leonard in the locker room before the game. He stood in front of Jusuf and waved his arms, but there was no reaction from the seven-foot Bosnian, who was staring straight ahead with a vacant look in his eyes. “He’s getting in the zone,”…

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Seth Curry 18 Points Full Highlights (1/1/2019)

The commentators in this game brought up an interesting factoid (one could even call it a “fun fact”): in 149 (now 150) career games, Seth Curry has not dunked it even one time. He’s only 6’2″ and he’s never had a reputation for being a supreme athletic specimen, but still. He’s an NBA player and…

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