Rondae Hollis-Jefferson 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/13/2018)

Rondae Hollis-Jefferson scoring 22 points and getting 7 assists is like a nightmare scenario for me. I already don’t care that much for RHJ, his game is unaesthetic (save those shoulder shimmies he does before free throws) and my position on assists is well-known. And when I say nightmare scenario, I really mean nightmare here….

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E’Twaun Moore 23 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2018)

OFFICIAL GUARDS WHO PLAY MORE THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES PER GAME SORTED BY FIELD GOAL PERCENTAGE POWER RANKINGS 1. JaKarr Sampson (59.1%) [what the hell, I guess I should have put a game restriction on this list since he’s only played in six of them] 2. E’Twaun Moore (54.6%) [I honestly thought he would be first,…

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Marcus Smart 18 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)

OFFICIAL LOWEST TRUE SHOOTING PERCENTAGES FOR PLAYERS WHO PLAY MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES PER GAME POWER RANKINGS: 1. Lonzo “Secretly Hates his Father” Ball (43%) 2. Marcus “Vital Part of the Team” Smart (45.8%) 3. Danilo “Hospital Bed” Gallinari (47.5%) 4. Dion “Buckets Don’t Lie” Waiters (48.7%) 5. Nicolas “I Hate Juan-Carlos Navarro” Batum (49.7%)…

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T.J. Warren 28 Points Full Highlights (12/31/2017)

OFFICIAL TWO-POINT FIELD GOAL ATTEMPTER POWER RANKINGS 2018 EDITION 1. Russell Westbrook 2. Giannis Antetokounmpo 3. LaMarcus Aldridge 4. T.J. Warren 5. LeBron James 6. DeMar DeRozan ….. ….. ….. 476. Julyan Stone (Is it really a “power ranking” if it’s just a factual list? That is a question for another day.)

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Otto Porter 26 Points/7 Threes/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/29/2017)

OFFICIAL MOST UNDERRATED PLAYERS IN THE NBA WHOSE LAST NAMES START WITH ‘P’ POWER RANKINGS 1. Otto Porter 2. Dwight Powell 3. Chris Paul? 4. This is getting hard 5. Jakob Poeltl 6. Adreian Payne 7. Are there other players whose last names start with P? 8. Oh yeah, the Plumlees 9. Mason Plumlee 10….

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Caris LeVert 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/27/2017)

OFFICIAL THINGS THAT NEED TO HAPPEN SO THAT CARIS LEVERT CAN GET 25 ASSISTS IN A GAME LIKE RAJON RONDO JUST DID POWER RANKINGS 1. Change nickname from “Baby Durant” to “Adult Rondo” 2. Petition NBA to change the length of the game to 100 minutes 3. Stop scoring 22 points 4. Stop shooting altogether…

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Treveon Graham 14 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)

OFFICIAL GRAHAM POWER RANKINGS 1. Joey Graham (do you even lift bro) 2. Stephen Graham (more longevity than his first-place brother, but less scoring) 3. Paul Graham (highest scorer on this list at 8 PPG in his 3-year career) 4. Greg Graham (played in the 90s so some old-timers might actually remember him) 5. Treveon…

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Steven Adams 19 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2017)

OFFICIAL PEOPLE TO BLAME FOR STEVEN ADAMS ONLY SCORING TWO POINTS IN THE SECOND HALF AFTER BEING UNSTOPPABLE IN THE FIRST HALF POWER RANKINGS 1. Russell Westbrook. Did not pass Steven Adams the ball enough. Chased rebounds for a triple-double instead. 2. Paul George. Did not pass Steven Adams the ball enough. Chucked shots and…

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Otto Porter 24 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2017)

The Wizards were up by 17 points after Otto Porter made his free throws with 8:53 left in the fourth quarter. Otto Porter did not attempt another field goal the rest of the game and the Wizards ended up losing to the Blazers by three. OFFICIAL WHOSE FAULT WAS IT THAT THE WIZARDS LOST POWER…

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Dennis Schröder 26 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/24/2017)

With this last 26-point effort, Dennis “Sexy Nubian Princess” Schröder is now back over 20 PPG for the season. This allows me to present my OFFICIAL PLAYERS WHO ARE SCORING 20 PPG POWER RANKINGS [RANKED ON HOW MUCH PEOPLE CARE ABOUT THEM] (NOVEMBER 2017 EDITION): 1. LeBron James 2. Stephen Curry 3. Kevin Durant 4….

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