Rudy Gobert All 235 Dunks Full Highlights (2016-17 Season Dunkilation)

“Monsieur Gobert! Monsieur Gobert! Your esteemed guest has arrived!” Rudy Gobert rolled his eyes at his bumbling, bespectacled butler. “If you weren’t such an intolerable fool, Remi, you would be able to take his coat and invite him in to the parlor without running to me for guidance.” “Yes, sir! Of course, sir! I will…

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Rudy Gobert 21 Points Full Highlights (5/6/2017)

Does anybody else get annoyed by the “PLAYOFF INTENSITY” fetishism that is displayed both on TV broadcasts and on the internet in general? Maybe I don’t like it when people display emotions since I myself am an emotionless semi-human, but the whole thing feels like its trying to ascribe more meaning to what is, like…

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Rudy Gobert 20 Points/5 Blocks/6 Dunks Full Highlights (3/27/2017)

When Rudy Gobert called out an unnamed teammate or teammates for playing selfishly, who was he referring to? Since I have inside sources in the Rudy Gobert camp (let’s just say that it never hurts to make friends with every sommelier you ever meet), I can shed some light on the situation in the form…

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Rudy Gobert 26 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2017)

It’s been a while since All-Star weekend, but it is still blowing my mind that Rudy Gobert was not selected to participate. Is it because he sometimes looks like an alien? Uh, that’s called discrimination, and it’s NOT okay in 2017. Aliens are people too. Here we have yet another game where Rudy Gobert “have…

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Rudy Gobert Career High 35 Points/8 Dunks Full Highlights (3/22/2017)

For hours, Rudy Gobert had been waiting patiently for his guest to wake up. He didn’t feel like waiting anymore. Retrieving a nearby bucket of ice water he had set aside specifically for this purpose, he dumped the entire contents onto the head of the unconscious man strapped to the chair. The shirtless man immediately…

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Rudy Gobert 16 Points/8 Blocks Full Highlights (3/20/2017)

8 is the most shots anyone has blocked in a game this season, tied with both of the Lopez bros. Whiteside is really slacking this year, apparently, because his name is nowhere to be found on this list of dudes who have blocked a lot of shots. That means Gobert, as of right now, is…

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Rudy Gobert 20 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2017)

Like many other centers whose last names don’t end with “-okic”, Rudy Gobert is a constant double-double threat, but a negligible triple-double threat. In a league where triple-doubles are such a common occurrence that nobody even cares that Elfrid Payton had two of them in a row, this is unfortunate. Let’s put it this way:…

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Rudy Gobert 23 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2017)

Question to the people of France: if you don’t care about Rudy Gobert or Evan Fournier or Nic Batum or Kevin Seraphin anymore, who DO you care about? The French aren’t the most nationalistic people in mainland Europe (not even close), but you guys definitely have some nationalistic fervor building up in your loins and…

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Rudy Gobert 16 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (3/5/2017)

It looked like a goaltend to me. For real. Speaking as a totally neutral, objective observer. At least close enough to be un-overturn-able. I think the refs made the wrong decision reversing the original call. Straight up. I am not mad about it. I am just stating what I think. Here’s another thing that I…

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Rudy Gobert 26 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (2/1/2017)

Rudy Gobert, clad in an all-black skinsuit, had to restrain a chuckle as he easily entered the night-darkened home of Adam Silver. The commissioner had clearly not been expecting home intrusions when he had left the windows of his living room swung open. Now, thanks to his lax security, Adam would pay the ultimate price….

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