Peja Stojakovic 39 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2001)

In an effort to become more relevant to my subscriber base, I’ve been doing some research on what makes the biggest names in sports punditry so big. In the course of my research I have discovered that one of the things they do is painstakingly craft and then broadcast what are known as “hot takes”….

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Ben McLemore All 60 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)

Ben McLemore looked around at the basketball players who were gathered for the second round of the support group. It was a reunion of sorts; exactly a year ago, they had all been seated in a similar circle, in the same community center, in the same fluorescent-lit room. Just like last time, nobody really looked…

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Derrick Williams All 64 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)

Rudy Gay had given up hope long ago. Here, in Derrick Williams’ dungeon, there was no such thing as hope. There was only dubstep. Dubstep composed by the corrupted brain of the one who had adopted the moniker “Professor Dubbenstein”. There was no respite from the hellish noise which echoed throughout the underground chamber nor…

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Nik Stauskas 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

I swing my scepter of disapproval at this new nickname for Nik Stauskas. “Sauce Castillo”. I thought we had already discovered and agreed upon the correct nickname for him. Nik Sucksass. Get it? Because he kind of sucks ass right now? Instead of pantomiming stirring a jar of sauce after hitting that three, he should…

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Omri Casspi Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2015)

Omri Casspi and Reggie Evans sat at a table, waiting for their food. “Thanks for taking me out here Reggie, I never have tried this place before.” “Yeah, I was thinkin’, you know, you bein’ Jewish and all, why not take you out to Rosenblatt’s Deli, the best place in the whole damn valley for…

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Ben McLemore 20 Points Full Highlights (4/5/2015)

Do the Kings suck because Ben McLemore sucks? Or does Ben McLemore suck because the Kings suck? That is the unanswerable question. It might be somewhat unfair to Ben Mac to accuse him of sucking, but there we have it. I just want to know if he would be a total stud on a team…

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Omri Casspi 17 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2015)

With Sim Bhullar being signed to a 10-day by the Kings, thus becoming a teammate of Omri Casspi, I thought now would be the good time to examine the relationship between India and Israel. And then I thought, “Am I really crazy enough to write anything even tangentially relating to Israeli politics?”, and I responded…

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Nik Stauskas 13 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2015)

Step up your game, Kings commentators. When Nik Stauskas makes a shot, the rule is that you have to say something like “Nice to see some confidence from Nik” or “You can see his confidence growing game by game” or a similar sentiment on his increasing confidence levels. Every time he makes a shot. If…

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Omri Casspi 16 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (3/16/2015)

Do the Kings commentators never shut up about “confidence”? They say that word whenever Nik Stauskas makes a shot, and now they say it whenever Omri Casspi hits a three. Is it a rule that every time a role-player hits a jumpshot, it builds their confidence? Omri’s been hitting threes for his whole NBA career….

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Ben McLemore 27 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2015)

Ben “Easy Mac” McLemore is the same player he was his rookie year. Just way better. Well, maybe not “way” better. He’s improved, definitely, though he’s still not as good as he can probably be. It just goes to show, even the biggest bustiest scrubbiest rookie can turn things part-way around just by the natural…

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