Patty Mills 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/12/2019)

It just sort of occurred to me that Patty Mills has been on the Spurs for a long time. Eight years! I must be turning into one of those people who’s caught off guard by the passing of time, because it seems like it wasn’t that long ago that Mills was an ironic towel-waving mascot…

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Davis Bertans 17 Points Full Highlights (2/12/2019)

In order to better connect with the viewers from Latvia who are undoubtedly watching this video, I have decided to do some research on the vital facts of the country which so kindly gave us Davis Bertans. Before this research, my knowledge of Latvia was limited to the following points: -It’s in northern Europe -It…

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Rudy Gay 25 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2019)

Rudy “Better than Fernandez but Worse than Gobert” Gay continues to be, against all odds, a solid scoring option for the Spurs. After getting ragged on by analytics-minded fans (including myself) for the entirety of his decade-plus in the NBA, he’s finally putting up efficienct scoring numbers at the grand old age of 32. And…

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Derrick White 26 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/31/2019)

OFFICIAL POINT GUARDS TO SHOOT OVER 50% FROM THE FIELD IN A SEASON WHILE PLAYING AT LEAST TWENTY MINUTES PER GAME IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS POWER RANKINGS 1. Stephen Curry 2015-16 (30.1 PPG, 50.4% shooting) 2. Ben Simmons 2018-19 (16.7 PPG, 56.9% shooting) 3. Goran Dragic 2014-15 (16.3 PPG, 50.1% shooting) 4. Trey Burke…

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Davis Bertans 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/29/2019)

OFFICIAL PLAYERS DRAFTED IN THE SECOND ROUND OF THE 2011 DRAFT WHO ARE STILL IN THE LEAGUE POWER RANKINGS: 1. Bojan Bogdanovic (MJ-lite [and MJ-white (LOL [lots of laughs])]) 2. E’Twaun Moore (Also MJ-lite) 3. Davis Bertans (The Latvian Laser is finally getting unleashed. When he’s hot, he’s more dangerous than pointing a laser pointer…

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Davis Bertans 21 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2019)

Rejoice, fans of Davis Bertans, for the tyrannical regime of Gregg Popovich is almost at an end. He has hinted strongly at retiring at the end of the season, and with his retirement would come a new era of Spurs basketball where Bertans isn’t held down because of backwards-minded coaching. Popovich is loved for what…

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Marco Belinelli 19 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)

Marco “Marcoroni and Threes” Belinelli has been on a nice run for the Spurs lately, averaging 18 in his last five appearances. He scored 19 points against the Timberwolves in this one. And that’s all I have to say about that. You want more description? Too bad. These descriptions are supposed to be short and…

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Rudy Gay 22 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)

I’m freaking out right now, because I literally can’t remember a single thing about Rudy Gay’s multi-year tenure in Sacramento. He was there for 3.5 seasons, basically averaged 20 points during that time, and I can’t even bring to mind an image of him wearing the jersey, much less doing anything while wearing it. Did…

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Derrick White 18 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/14/2018)

Sometimes bad things have to happen in order for good things to happen. Case in point: Dejounte Murray getting injured. Obviously that was a Bad Thing. But his injury has allowed for the discovery of Derrick White. That’s a Good Thing. If White was only getting spot backup minutes behind Murray and Mills, we would…

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Marco Belinelli 24 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2019)

My memory of last season is already pretty hazy, so I can’t remember if I had a reason for not making a Marco Belinelli three-ilation. Did I not realize how thoroughly entertaining such an -ilation would be? Or was I just too lazy to make it? Maybe I didn’t like how he would suddenly switch…

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