Danny Green Career High 28 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (2/6/2013)

Would Danny Green look as good as he does on the Spurs with any other team. Probably not. The Spurs have a way of making role-players look like, um, not role-players. Like Danny Green. He really can’t do much besides get to open spots and shoot threes. But the Spurs don’t need him to do…

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Kawhi Leonard 18 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2013)

He trudged endlessly through the Tibetan snowscape. There was no sound but for the crunch of his footfalls. Would he find enlightenment here? He had sought the guru for days, having been told by Euroleague players that the guru would make himself apparent after the proper mindset had been attained. But Kawhi was already pretty…

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Aron Baynes 7 Points/1 Block Full Highlights (1/30/2013)

Here’s something crazy. Let’s assign a number value to each letter A=1,…, Z=26. Look at the initials of the name Aron Baynes. AB. 1 + 2. That makes three. Now count up the number of letters in his name. 10. Subtract the two numbers. 10 – 3 = 7. Which is the number of points…

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Tiago Splitter Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2013)

Did you hear about the new live-action Beavis and Butt-Head movie they’re making. I heard from an inside source that the actor for Butt-Head is none other than San Antonio Spurs superstar Tiago Splitter! They couldn’t have picked a better person for the role. This second career doesn’t seem to have affected him much, as…

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Matt Bonner 17 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2013)

Matt Bonner is seriously white. So white that he wears New Balance shoes. He is notable for being the only person to dunk while wearing that brand. Ever. He is also notable for his absolutely pure, if a little unorthodox, shooting stroke. He would be a lot more useful if he could get that thing…

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Danny Green Career High 25 Points (7 Threes) Full Highlights (12/23/2012)

I polled 1000 random U.S. citizens with one simple question: “Is Danny Green a beast?” The results were as follows: 1% No 2% Yes 76% Who? 21% Get off my lawn and put away that bullhorn So there you have it. America has spoken, and they say “Danny Green is a beast”.

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Tony Parker Triple-Double 27 Points/12 Assists/12 Rebounds Full Highlights (12/10/2012)

Besotted with fine Merlot and weighed down with the crunchiest of baguettes Tony Parker overcomes adversity to record his first career triple-double against the Harden-less Rockets. Despite the blurry vision that is a by-product of overimbibing he found his teammates for 12 easy buckets while also scoring 27 points and grabbing 12 rebounds. The Rockets’…

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Danny Green 23 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

The Spurs are a magical organization. They take other team’s discarded scrubs and transmute them into coveted role-players. Take Danny Green for example. After showing very little as a mid-second-round pick by the Cavs, he was waived and picked up by the Spurs, where he became a starter-caliber player. As the Spurs’ designated three-point launcher,…

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DeJuan Blair 19 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2012)

Last night I asked Coach Popovich after the game if he was happy with DeJaun Blair’s performance. “Happy? Happy isn’t a word I think about in my life. I’m never happy. Basketball isn’t about being happy. Every moment I live on this earth is a single condensed instant of pure misery and anguish. DeJuan might…

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Gary Neal Career High 27 Points Full Highlights 11/10/2012

A crazy game in Portland ends in Spurs victory as Gary Neal single-handedly dismantles the Blazers with his 11 of 16 shooting. Who needs superstars when you have a bench like the Spurs? Sorry that the last clip cuts out quick, for some reason I couldn’t get the end of it.

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